Week In The Life, Part 3

When I decided to do this project, one of the reasons I broke it up into sections instead of what I do each day is because nothing ever changes. I get the same groceries every week, eat the same thing at each time of the day and basically follow the routine of a person with OCD, except I totally don't have OCD. My dog might, but that's a whole other story.

When I was first diagnosed with Spondylitis I was put on a medication that is pretty hard on your stomach (although I didn't know that at the time). It made me really sick, I mean really sick, but I was new to the whole illness scene and figured if I was supposed to take it I would. I called my doctor at Mayo to tell him I was having problems and the nurse said it was a common side effect and it would go away. A couple weeks later I called again. The nurse called back and said the doctor wanted me to stick with it for a few more weeks. By the time I called back I was living on supplement drinks and saltines and discovered the doctor had been on sabbatical all month and the nurse was flying solo. Nice. After a few more years of trying every nsaid out there, my stomach has never been the same. I now take 4x the normal dose of Protonix, 4x the normal dose of Zantac, eat Rolaids like candy and keep anti-nausea meds on hand at all times, everyday. And I still have the most temperamental stomach on the planet.

I've moved beyond saltines and rice (woo hoo!!!) but it's made me tend to stick with foods I know I can handle and not experiment too much. I think if I had more energy and stamina I would be a person who actually enjoyed trying to cook, but since I have neither of those I stick to microwaves and sandwiches. My mother, on the other hand, is the McGyver of the kitchen. Give her some string, chewing gum and a match and she'll somehow make a casserole.

But since she's not here, this is how my day starts... I now give you the third installment, I'm Not a Chef:

First, Riley gets his medicine in a piece of cheese and a baby carrot... because God forbid I eat before my dog. And then I put on my tea kettle and make some apple/cinnamon oatmeal. Now, I have no idea why I've always wanted a tea kettle that whistles, but I have. My old one was perfectly fine and did not need replacing except that it was such a let down when I put water on to boil and there was no whistle. So I got the cute orange tea kettle that whistles for me every morning. It takes so very little to make me happy.

And here is my lunch every day:

A chicken salad sandwich that I put in my George Foreman grill and pretend that it's a panini press. Desperate times, desperate measures.

Now, these are my two favorite snacks:

You can't beat a peanut butter chocolate chip granola bar. Because you can tell yourself it's healthy and still consume sugar and chocolate. Really, it's a win-win situation. And my favorite snack in the world is my granny smith apple slices with my own special dressing/dip. Yes, I make it myself. Because there are only three ingredients and I can't mess it up. And it contains a lot of sugar, which makes me happy. If you too would like to be happy mix these three things together: 2 cups sugar, 1 cup milk, 1 cup miracle whip, and add celery salt to taste (I use a lot). Heaven, people, pure heaven. The apples are really just a means to an end.

Now, supper has a couple of choices:

I'll either have a toasted peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or if I'm feeling all Martha Stewart-y I'll stand at the stove and make ramen noodles. Because I'm a culinary genius with the ramen, people.

So, here's where we take a moment of silence for the sad part of my daily food story. Once upon a time, there was a girl. And she was having a long-term love affair with Diet Mt. Dew. They were soul mates. Diet Dew was always there for her, giving her a boost... making her smile. Until one day it all ended.

Yep, for some reason during my bout with pneumonia this past year, I could no longer tolerate my Diet Mt. Dew. And then I came to realize it wasn't just the pop... I could no longer eat or drink anything with artificial sweeteners. Nutrisweet started making me nauseous, and Splenda turned out to be the devil incarnate. One sip or taste and I was sick to my stomach, sometimes with an accompanying headache. So all of my low-fat foods are out of my life (my thighs have never forgiven me) and my only beverage is this:

It's ok. I survived.

And most importantly, due to the Great No-Junk Food Fiasco of 2008 that resulted in Hershey's syrup being squirted directly into my mouth, I keep these little delights on hand at all times:

And if all else fails, I have my microwave s'mores to keep me happy.