The Smoothie

So here's something you should know about me: I have had more hairstyles than anyone else on the planet. I have had short hair, long hair, curly hair, straight hair, colored hair, highlighted hair, big bangs, no bangs, flipped in the back and everything in between. Whenever anything was feeling crazy in my life, my solution was to change my hairstyle.

I once had super-short hair like the new Victoria Beckham style:

and after I grew it out my (then very little) niece Anna told me she liked my hair long better than when I had it, "cut like a boy's." It's stayed long ever since.

I would show you all the photos of my different hairstyles, but that would mean bombarding you with photos of me, and I would enjoy that about as much as having my fingernails ripped out. So instead, I'm going to show you some "dog hairstyles."

I've only taken Riley to be groomed by a professional a couple of times. One reason is that I cut my own hair to save myself money, so I can't really justify spending it on my dog's hair. Another is that Riley dislikes being around other dogs more than anything else, so it seems silly to inflict a day at the vet's on him when it's not necessary.

The final reason is that the one time I had him groomed and asked for her to just "trim him up a little" he went from looking like this:

To looking like this:

Which required me to buy him this:

because it was winter and he was shaking from being so cold.

My friend Susie has a Goldendoodle named Sadie, and she is big and fluffy and funny and adorable. She's pictured below in a photo with Jonboy, which was taken before a crazy grooming appointment where she went from looking like this:

To looking like this:

After getting over the initial shock of thinking they gave her the wrong dog, the groomer told Susie that Sadie had some mats and it was easier to give her a cut they called "The Smoothie."

Just so you know, that is one hairstyle I'll never be asking for. No matter how crazy my life is or how much I think I need a change.