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Friday, February 5, 2010

Rest in His Presence

My friend Jenni, who I met through this blog/twitter world, asked me if I’d write a guest post for her blog today. And because I think she’s ridiculously cool… I said yes. :)

Jenni lives in Oregon, is a wife, a mom and a worship pastor. She is absolutely a riot, a wonderful friend, overwhelmingly honest even when it hurts, irreverent and thoughtful all at the same time. I love getting to call her friend.

jenni If you think she’s adorable, you need to make sure you see a picture of her little boys Chance and Pax when you go to her blog. They are killer cute.

So… this is the start of my blog post over there…

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God, being who He is, must always be sought for Himself, never as a means toward something else.                                -AW Tozer

My friend Susie and I are slightly obsessed with the show Brothers and Sisters. The crazier the family gets, the more we seem to be enthralled… so it was no surprise when she called me one night after the first commercial starting sentences with, “Can you believe…” and “They are insane…” and “How funny was…”

Never at a loss for words, Susie and I rambled on through the commercials and immediately shushed each other when the show came back on. The funny thing was, we didn’t hang up.

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To read the rest of it, hop over to Jenni’s blog here: http://www.jenniclayville.com/sara-frankl-just-be/

And then hang out awhile. You’ll love her.

       

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[EDITED to add full post below]

God, being who He is, must always be sought for Himself, never as a means toward something else.                                -AW Tozer

My friend Susie and I are slightly obsessed with the show Brothers and Sisters. The crazier the family gets, the more we seem to be enthralled… so it was no surprise when she called me one night after the first commercial starting sentences with, “Can you believe…” and “They are insane…” and “How funny was…”

Never at a loss for words, Susie and I rambled on through the commercials and immediately shushed each other when the show came back on. The funny thing was, we didn’t hang up.

And we didn’t even notice that we were sitting in silence on the phone, watching a television show together while not saying a word. Sometimes it’s nice to just “be” with someone… even when distance separates you.

I had an experience the last couple of weeks that took up most of my conscious thoughts. Because I am homebound with a serious illness, healthcare can be tricky and I ran into a medical roadblock that seemed pretty insurmountable. Coming up with a solution proved to be a rollercoaster, and to say that my life was consumed with prayer would be an understatement.

My eyes would open in the morning and I’d be talking to God, asking him to give me the strength to face whatever the day brought for me. Throughout the day I’d thank Him for being faithful and loving me. When my thoughts would return to the situation at hand, I would ask Him to touch the hearts of the medical professionals I needed to help me, and in the next breath would ask Him to touch my heart so I could accept whatever outcome He thought was best for me.

I wanted. I thanked. I wanted. I thanked. I talked. I listened. And then I talked some more. I was so drawn to stay in conversation with Him, but at the same time I was so sick of saying what I already knew He heard, and what I already knew He had taken care of. I just didn’t know the outcome yet.

Then I had a moment… sitting in front of the fireplace with my pup… when it felt like that night on the phone with Susie. I had stopped talking, stopped listening, stopped thinking. But I hadn’t hung up. I realized I was being drawn, not to keep talking to Him, but to “be” with Him. To just rest in His presence and know I was ok.

I don’t normally do that. I seem to have a need to fill up the space with God. To actively talk, actively listen, actively praise. But that night I realized I needed Him in the same way I need my best friend. Sometimes I just need to be understood without saying a word, sometimes I need to just not be alone.

If this medical crisis taught me nothing else, it taught me that sometimes prayer has nothing to do with speaking or listening. It’s trusting Him enough to simply rest in His presence.

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