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Tuesday, October 5, 2010

(in)courage: What's It All For?

Hi, friends. :)

Sorry I was missing in action a bit longer than I originally thought I would be. I’d tell you all the vacation in my mind was so fantastically ideal that I just couldn’t tear myself away to come back and blog, but I have a feeling none of you would believe me.

Because you know if I was on a great vacation I would totally blog during it to show you pictures and tell you the wonderful stories. :)

This bout of whatever-bug-bit-me hit me harder and faster than I think I’ve ever had something come on. Needless to say, I did not luck out and avoid the shots that hurt like a banshee. For the first time ever they actually doubled the normal dose of rocefin, and as of this post I’ve had 10 lovely shots in my hips, and will have four more before all is said and done.

Hi, my name is Sara. And my hips are sore.

I’m also on an oral antibiotic and the combination of the two of them are turning things around. I was mostly concerned about my lungs until I woke up one morning with a rash all over my face and the right side of my head swollen. Secondary infections are the best, aren’t they?

So is sarcasm.

Anyway, my lungs are doing oh-so-much-better, and as long as I don’t get up and move around the swelling in my face is staying down as well. I’m honestly starting to think that most of my nausea at the moment is not so much from being sick as it is from the abnormal amount of medicine taking up residence in my body, so I’m hoping once I get through this week I’ll be in the home stretch.

And there you have the update on me. Thanks for being so patient and checking in on me. I really, seriously miss you guys when I’m away.

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Now, here’s the GOOD PART of today’s post! :) Today is my day to guest post over at (in)courage ... I’m such a movie lover and took my topic from a small line in a movie I was watching awhile back. Here’s an excerpt of my post today:

In a small scene, he goes from a supporting character to speaking a concern we all find ourselves having at some point in our lives.

He says, “I feel like my entire life has been a waste... I just don’t know what it was all for.”

It made me so sad. Not so much for the character in the movie, but for so many people who not only visit that place but find themselves residing there permanently.

That place of not really living while you’re living.

Click here [What's It All For?] to head on over and read the post in its entirety... and I promise to be back to check in on you all tomorrow!

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*****EDITED to add complete post below:

I love movies.

I’ve decided if there could be a perfect occupation for this homebound chick it would be for movie studios to send me DVDs of movies as they are releasing in theaters so I could have my own little premiere parties here with Riley the blog dog. The thought of not having to wait months for them to be released on DVD?

Divine.

Netflix is grand, don’t get me wrong, but the instant gratification of viewing with the general public would be heaven. Then I could find little snippets in the movies that are seemingly benign and write about the personal impact it had on me.

It’s what I do on a daily basis anyway. :)

Take, for example, Julie and Julia. I was following along mindlessly, wishing I could learn to cook… and then laughing at the idea of how terribly wrong that picture would be… when Julia Child’s husband had a brief moment of pondering his life.

In a small scene, he goes from a supporting character to speaking a concern we all find ourselves having at some point in our lives.

He says, “I feel like my entire life has been a waste… I just don’t know what it was all for.”

It instantly made me sad. Not so much for the character in the movie, but for so many people who not only visit that place but find themselves residing there permanently.

That place of not really living while you’re living.

That place of wanting things to add up to more.
That place of wanting recognition beyond yourself.
That place of always looking ahead and asking what if.
That place of always looking back and wondering why not.

So many of us live in that place… wanting our homes to match our self worth and our recognition to match our efforts. But sometimes, in that place of always looking ahead to what people will say about our lives, or looking back to what could have been our lives, we forget that those things aren’t what living is all about.

It’s about the moments.

It’s about the silly made-up stories with kids before bedtime. It’s using the special wedding china at supper for absolutely no reason. It’s your kids coming home off the bus and having pudding in individual stemware waiting in the fridge for each of them. It’s about throwing your child up high in the air, and the confidence on their face knowing they believe you’ll never let them fall. It’s about laughter and crying and “I love you.” and “I’m sorry.” and “It’s all forgiven.”

When I think about my parents, I don’t think about their net worth. I don’t think about their house or their car or anything of monetary value. I think back to the things I just wrote in that paragraph. I think about the moments they can look back on and know they lived.

The moments are what it was all for.

That one line in that simple movie made me wonder how many of us are forgetting that the end result is a culmination of the moments lived not the accumulation of things obtained.

And it makes me want to really live my moments.

Do you have one? That favorite, simple moment you wouldn’t trade for anything?

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