A Big Announcement

"Never put a period where God has put a comma. God is Still Speaking." ~Gracie Allen

 

Before Sara passed away on Sept. 24 2011, one of the last things she said was, “I want people to continue learning, believing and trusting in God, as I have tried to be His disciple, BUT she said, it’s not about me, it’s about Him, that is the message I want people to hear.” Sara did not want us to put a period on this Choose Joy discipleship. The journey Sara walked had a purpose and that purpose did not have to end because she wasn’t physically with us.

In January of 2016 with the assistance of Mary Carver and Hachette publishing, we launched the book Choose Joy: Finding Hope and Purpose When Life Hurts. Sara’s discipleship and spirit lead words have continued to change lives! God is still speaking using Sara’s journey as an example to us.

   

Since the launch of the book 1.5 years ago, I have been blessed with speaking engagements; book signings and the ability to create choose joy items to sell as reminders of choosing joy. My family also set up the Choose Joy Sara Gitz Frankl Memorial Foundation so all the proceeds we receive can be provided in grants.

As Sara’s words and guidance…to be intentional in all things…kept running through my head, I continued to pray for an open mind and faithful feet for next steps with this discipleship. I have never felt equipped to be a writer (that was Sara’s gift) and am not at all comfortable being on camera, but I needed to step out in faith and follow a call.

So, the big announcement… On Sara’s heavenly birthday, September 24, 2017, the Choose Joy Foundation with the assistance of Positive Note Publishing, will be launching a Study Guide and DVD series to accompany the book. The Study Guide is titled Choose Joy: Finding Your Hope and Purpose When Life Hurts. It’s about digging in to the book and the lessons Sara gave us through her own life, and making it yours. It is a guide to finding your own hope and purpose when your life hurts.

   

This publishing journey that my family has been on since 2011 has been all about Him…trusting, being faithful and patient, and saying yes…and it has brought nothing but JOY. We love you Sara and look forward to this continued journey…using a comma…listening when God speaks and making it all about HIM.

If you are interested in assisting us in the launch of the study guide and DVD series, please send me an email at choosejoyfoundation@gmail.com.

Peace my friends…thanks for walking this journey with us!

Grace and the Holy Spirit

September 12, 2011, one year ago today, I answered a call from my sister Sara and she asked me to come. Come and be with her. “Don’t worry,” she said, “I’m okay, I was just wondering if you could come be with me.”

Of course! Where else would I be? Sara asked me to come.

Sara always loved to have people come visit, but she rarely asked. Sometimes it was because she wasn't feeling well, but mostly, she didn't want to be a burden to anyone. Typically, if I was going to visit, I had to be the one to tell her I was coming. There was only one other time I recall her asking me to come because she needed help.  It was when her disease, her pain, was more than she could handle. The only other time she asked me to come, was when she had Cushings, she needed the doctor’s help, and couldn’t get to them.

Sara said, “Don’t worry,” but I did nothing on that four hour trip but pray and worry!  Asking God, “please help me know how to help my sweet sister Sara.”

I felt like this time was different.  She had been getting worse. She had just received IV’s the week-end before because of dehydration. Steve was with her that week-end. He said when he left on Sunday that she seemed to be doing better.

But, she had taken a turn for the worse. Again.

God's Grace is "the power of God to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves".  And the fact is, we cannot do anything for ourselves.  Jesus says, "...without me you can do nothing."  ~John 15:5

I needed God’s grace. I always wear the necklace Sara gave me that says, “By Grace Alone.” Those words kept going through my head and I asked for His help, His grace. Without His grace, I was lost. How was I going to help her? How could I ease her suffering and pain?

 

I walked through the door of her condo.  Sara's dear friend Meg was with her, sitting next to her in bed. I hugged Sara (as much as I could without creating more pain) and I said, “Is this time different?” She said “Yes, I think so.” We cried, Meg left, and throughout that night I helped her as she struggled constantly. She hardly had a moment without relief from pain and getting physically sick.

Morning finally came and her friend, home nurse, our angel, Tabatha came to see how Sara was doing. After Tabatha saw Sara, we had much conversation, blood tests were taken, the results were received, and the words came…

”You may want to consider HOSPICE.” My tear filled eyes met Sara’s and she said, “YES.”

Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.   ~Romans 8:26

My head said No, but my heart felt hers as excitement filled her face. Sara was finally going to meet our heavenly father. She said “Yes.” And her journey began…one year ago today, she began her journey to be with our heavenly father and, our dad!

 08 Amazing Grace by gitzengirl

Choose Joy

Hi Friends,

This is Shannon. It's Friday evening, and Sara is resting peacefully.

Laura, Sara's sister, told me she's been still most of the day and that her last few nights were restful. Steve, her brother, shared with me how beautiful she is when she's asleep. That friends, is joy.

I imagine it's a whole mix of happy and sad in the condo right now. Sara is finally finding peace in her body, something many of us have not witnessed in years.

Joy

She'll soon be enjoying an easy breath, laughter that does not cause pain, sweet vocalization, and a reunion with her Dad.

Joy

Her finish line is in sight, a well paced race run with determination and endurance.


Joy


Sara is a woman of countless friends...friends are writing to and about her, linking up over with Jessica. Sara's family is reading the posts and is so thankful for the ways you all love her so well. Just last month, Sara held Jess' sweet, pink, beautiful bundle. A baby in her arms. She ran cars off of the bed with Elias. Memories that Jessica will treasure for a lifetime.

Joy


This place has always been one of honesty. Gitz is all about real. Even when there's pain mixed in.So, we'll walk together on this road, surrounding each other, lifting Sara and her family up, celebrating her life. We'll do it for her, because she's amazing. We'll also remember that it's okay for us to feel, to cry out, to lean on each other. She's taught us that. Who knew that as she was posting on her grief she'd be giving us a guidebook to what our lives may look like just a year later? He did.

Joy


She's headed home to Him.

Joy


I'm choosing it. Now. In this moment. Through the tears, the pain, the memories. In loving Sara, I've made my choice.

I Choose Joy

Looking Homeward

The journey is coming to an end, or perhaps a more “Sara” way to look at it is that it’s just beginning...

Sara is getting ready to head home to Him.

Through rainfall tears I read the blog through the night, and thought her words might bring you comfort as she travels home.

... I have lived in this condo since I was 29 years old. I haven't left it, ventured out, even open a window in years. It's where I am, where I will always be, and yet when someone says the word 'home' I don't think here.

I don't think anywhere, really. I think who.

Because my home rests in the hearts of people.

My home is with my mom as I think of her sitting on the porch outside her bedroom, sipping coffee and looking out over the beautiful landscape that nature created.

It's with my sister as I think of her busy in her kitchen, rushing to prepare something for Becca who is on the go, or organizing Thomas as he readies for college.

It's with my brother as I think of him sitting in his living room, helping Cooper with homework or listening to Avery as she tells him stories of her day.

It's with Shannon and the girls as they sit in the dance studio and practice for Nie Nie's solo competition, or in their living room as Yodi sketches and colors and dreams her own dreams.

Some days my home walks right into the condo, like it did today, when Tyler and Jonboy helped their grandma deliver groceries. Sweet Jonboy, who asked if he could do anything to help me. So he filled up my bird feeders and swept in the kitchen because his heart, my home, is filled with more love than it can hold.

It's with friends who are near and loved ones who are far. It's with people I've shared my life with but may never meet face to face, until we all go to our final Home.

Our Home in heaven where my Dad is. He is my home, his own heart so close to Jesus' I can almost feel both of them beating in mine, so close in my thoughts and so far from my touch.

My home is not here. It's not in a country or state or town or walls. It's in the hearts of the people I love.

And their home is in mine.

Well said, dearest Sara. You will  forever be in all of ours...


Shannon

Update:

Sara received information late yesterday afternoon that her body was beginning to shut down, and things have moved quickly since. Hospice arrived this morning and Sara is comfortable. Her family is surrounding her and reading her texts, facebook posts, and emails, so please feel free to contact her and share your love; she will not be able to reply but is taking great peace in your words, your heart.  I know how thankful she is for each of you, how much joy you’ve added to her days, and what purpose sharing Him has given her. I will continue to post as things change and want to thank each of you for the ways in which you have loved sweet Sara so well.

New Territory

Hi friends. This is Shannon, mama to NieNie and Yodi and heart friend of our Sara. I must admit I’ve written this first line about a dozen times and keep hoping for it to end in a different way.  But it’s not going to, and both Sar and I are okay with it.

But we can still hope...

Hope. Wait. Repeat.

Because right now? It’s what she’s doing... Waiting. Resting. Hoping. Waiting some more. 

Her health isn’t where she or I want it to be, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t know exactly where she is.  I’m trusting on Him to provide for her, fill her, and grant her peace.

With all of that said, I need to ask you to support Sara as she ventures into territory not yet explored.  My friend is taking a blog sabbatical for a bit, to catch up on her rest and see if she can’t get into a new groove that will work for both her body and her spirit. 

The blog? This place we all come together and share our hearts and faith? It’s as much a part of Sara as Riley is nuzzled against her side.  It has been a struggle for our girl to put fingers to keyboard and ask that you’ll join her in this time of quiet; I’m stepping in and doing it for her.  She’s not giving anything up, just slowing it down for a bit to see if she can find more of her to be with all of you.

As she breaks from the blog, she’ll also be “on pause” (as Yodi says when she needs to stop something) from answering email. I promise to pop in from time to time and post updates for you because I know how much you all love her.  It’s her desire that none of you fret a bit, or feel ignored if she doesn’t get back to a comment or email.  Her main focus is on getting herself back to where she needs to be...and currently that doesn’t include a whole lot of sitting up, reading, or typing. It involves complete and total rest which her body desperately needs.  I’m so proud of her. She’s not pushing it too hard, and she’s listening to what she’s supposed to be doing instead of pursuing what she desires to do. 

That takes strength.

So, as this sabbatical begins, her plan is to check in from time to time. It’s my hope that you’ll all stick tight as she ventures this new road. I know that it is her heart’s desire to come back to you refreshed, renewed, and ready.  I’m declaring it here in print nonetheless that I trust in her plan to succeed, at least, as Dr. Seuss says, “98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.”

Shannon 

In God's Heart, I Am...

When I was a little girl, I thought I would be a poet.

{I also thought I would be the next Mary Lou Retton and the next Olivia Newton John and the next Bionic Woman, but those are stories you can go back and read...}

The first poem I remember showing to Mom, she didn't believe I wrote. I was little and out of nowhere my head came up with this:

God gives Himself to each of us,
To each a special part.
But I am the luckiest one of them all
For unto me He gave a piece of His heart.

After awhile I convinced her I hadn't copied it from one of my children's books so it went on the fridge, which was enough for me to consider myself published.

I was little and wanted to make sure I always had God's heart in me, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was in His.

It's easy to believe as a child.

But then we grow older.

And we see our flaws.

And we hide more than we show.

And instead of believing we are in His heart we shift our thinking and we start trying to earn our way in. Into a place where He already holds us as a precious gift.

My friend and (in)courage sister, Holley Gerth, saw that in herself and women all around her, and listened to a prompting that caused her to write God's Heart for You: Embracing Your True Worth as a Woman.

And girls, we need this book.

It's a tiny little book, but it is powerful. I've had so many little daily devotionals over the years that have been nice, and I read them and put them away and went about my day. But this one is different.

This one has made me pause.

Each day is only a few pages long, but Holley doesn't mess around. She starts with an idea, tells you her thoughts and then asks you three questions that stop you dead in your tracks.

Not the questions that you do two minutes before faith sharing because you're running late and they are typical ones you don't have to think about. {Not that I ever did that. Ahem.}

These are questions that dive into your heart, so that you can see yourself more clearly in His.

And after you ponder and pray and realize something new, she gives you a few lines of a prayer you think she pulled right out of your own heart, and then she gives you a pep talk that leaves your ready to face your day with a new readiness you didn't know you needed.

Can you tell I like this little treasure?

Would you like a copy, too?

Good. Because I'm giving one away. :)

If you want to be entered in, all you have to do is leave me a comment finishing this statement:

In God's Heart, I am...

Here's a video with some other people's answers if you need help getting started:

Please, only one comment per person, and the contest will go until 11:00 pm Thursday night. I'll announce the winner on Friday.

Good luck!

Gitz Bits: Week 33

Monday, August 15, 2011

This poor robin was in a tizzy trying to get some food on Monday. The feeder s/he was standing on is supposed to be safe against animals like raccoons and chipmunks, so when they stand on the little ledges their weight pulls the cage down and the food opening is covered by the leaves.

Well, apparently the robin had eaten a worm too many and was too heavy to actually get any of the birdseed.

If only the same was true for fast food windows...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I did a little food experimenting myself, which is almost unheard of in my world, but it turned out great! I was looking through a blog that had a recipe that filled all of my requirements:

1. I had all the ingredients in my house.
2. It required absolutely no effort on my part.

Because I love you all, here's what you do:

Mix 12oz. of your favorite barbeque sauce, 1/2 cup Italian salad dressing and 1/4 cup brown sugar and put it over 6 frozen chicken breasts in a crock pot.

{I only had three frozen chicken breasts and it seemed perfect to me because I liked the extra sauciness.}

You leave it on high in the crockpot for four hours and then pull the chicken apart with two forks. It is YUMMY. You're welcome.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

This is what Riley and I look like when we're not making great things in crockpots.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

I was so happy that my little yellow flower started to get blooms on it again! I was afraid with all this dry hot weather that the time for flowers was over. I love it when I'm proven wrong.

Friday, August 19, 2011

I was so grateful it was such a beautiful day out for my Uncle Barney's family to have his funeral and celebrate his life. I took a picture of this gorgeous blue sky because I know the gray days of winter are coming soon enough and we need to enjoy these fluffy cloud moments. 

Saturday, August 20, 2011

My sweet sister Laura texted me a picture of her and Jeff getting my nephew Thomas settled in the dorm for his first year of college.

I'm so incredibly proud of him and can't believe it's time for him to be on his own already. And right now I'm just hoping his roommate doesn't mind Iowa Hawkeye apparel. :) 

Sunday, August 21, 2011

My darling seven-year-old Yodi got to borrow her big sister's cell phone on Sunday and we spent hours – literally hours – texting back and forth. It was so sweet to go over everything from how much we love each other to how sad she is I live so far away to how the pop rocks she was eating feel when they explode in her mouth.

I loved every single minute of finding out everything there was to know about her day on Sunday. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Thanks for once again sharing my week with me! Click on the button below if you want to go to Jessica’s site and check out the other participants showing off their weekly photos as well:

For Alex, Anna & Thomas

Dear Alex, Anna and Thomas:

I remember riding in the car with your Uncle Steve the summer before I was heading to college. He looked at me, his naïve little sister, and said something important.

"When you get to college, there are going to be people who do things in front of you that will shock you. There will be people who admit to doing things that are against everything you believe in. It doesn't make them bad people. It just makes them people who've done things."

He proceeded to list some of the things he'd seen, some of the things he'd done, some of the things that people had told him. And then he told me something else. He said that when he got done with his first year of college he went home and thanked Mom and Dad, telling them, "I may not have always chosen to do the right thing, but at least I always knew right from wrong. That's a lot more than some other kids at college had."

Those two things impacted me more than I can tell you. Because I got out of that car knowing that I did know right from wrong and I could choose right regardless of what everyone else chose, and I knew that I could love people even when they chose wrong.

That they were more than their mistakes.

Just like you will always be more than your mistakes. You will always be loved by me for exactly who you are at any given moment. And I will always be a safe place to turn if you need one.

I have been blessed in my life to have friends from so many different walks of life. I have friends who are so like me I can't believe we're not twins, and I have friends who are so different from me that people don't understand how we can have any kind of relationship. And I love them all the same because every one of them has brought a richness to my life.

So I wanted to write this down as you three start college classes this week. I wanted a place where you could come and read the wise words your Uncle Hoody said to me, because it served me well in college and in all the years of relationships afterward.

Because that's what life is, guys... a series of relationships that shape us and others in profound ways.

Know that while you will learn a lot in college classes and you will shape your future and get your degree, some of the greatest lessons you'll learn in college boil down to this: Be who you are and don't compromise yourself for anyone. But don't shut anyone out just because they are different. Love them. Listen to them. Meet them where they are at and be who God meant you to be ... an extension of Him in the lives of those around you.

And have a lot fun while you do it.

And don't forget your Aunt Sara is here if you need her. For anything. Any time.

I love you. All the way around the world and back.

Flashback Friday: Soul Desire

I have the privilege of "being" at my Uncle Barney's funeral today as he asked that some of my songs be played instead of having a choir sing. I can't tell you how much it means to me that he would want that, and that it's still possible I can give to him in that small way today despite not being able to travel home.

So today, in honor of him, I'm doing a Flashback Friday with a song that speaks to me about the way I want to live out my life.

The same way Barney lived his.

My Soul Desire
{originally posted April 17, 2009}

Tonight I had the girls over for our faith sharing night, and this paragraph from Max Lucado's Traveling Light struck me in a big way:

God hates arrogance. He hates arrogance because we haven't done anything to be arrogant about. Do art critics give awards to the canvas? Is there a Pulitzer for ink? Can you imagine a scalpel growing smug after a successful heart transplant? Of course not. They are only tools, so they get no credit for the accomplishments.

Now, at some point in the discussion I think Susie called me a tool, and didn't mean it in the nicest way, but that's not the point I'm trying to make here. :) In every part of the 23rd Psalm, which this book is based on, it talks about all God does for us:

"He makes me..."

"He leads me..."

"He restores my soul..."

And once again I am reminded that I need to be mindful of having a servant's heart. I have to be intentional in all the actions I take, knowing that all I do needs to point back to Him... the One who gets the praise for writing the story of our lives. The story for which I am blessed enough to be the ink.

And I just happen to have recorded a song back in the day that reminds me of just that.

01 My Soul Desire by gitzengirl

(in)courage: overwhelmed.

Hi, friends.

I'm doing my monthly post over at (in)courage today and I would love for you to go over there to read and join in the conversation, but I also have a favor to ask.

My Uncle Barney, who I mentioned in this post, passed away on Monday night and the funeral will be later this week.

My dad came from a big family, he was one of nine children, and until he died they had never experienced a loss in that immediate family. In the past thirteen months we have lost my Dad, my Grandpa Gerald and now my Uncle Barney. If you would say some extra prayers for my family, especially Grandma Rita, as well as Barney's wife Mickey and their kids Cory, Travis, Cristin and Libby, it would mean a lot to me.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that all of this was written by God's hand and arranged with His loving embrace, but I know from the past year that it doesn't seem to make the missing them part any simpler. I so appreciate your prayers as all who loved Barney walk that road.

::

Click here to read my post over at (in)courage today: Overwhelmed.

Gitz Bits: Week 32

Monday, August 8, 2011

Monday was my parents' 47th wedding anniversary, so I thought taking a snapshot of their wedding photo was fitting.

Their wedding cake had tiny little figurines on it that looked like the bride and groom, as well as groomsmen and bridesmaids that were in matching blue dresses and veils.

You can imagine how happy I was to find that box in the closet when I was a little girl… they were way more fun to play with than Barbies as far as I was concerned.  

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I think I already showed you guys the "JOY" blocks I have in my curio cabinet, so I wanted to show you the ones that spell out HOPE as well. Because we can all use a little hope in our day, can't we? :)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

And this shot is the definition of hope from Riley's perspective.

I have a bit of an addiction to Sweetarts and Starbursts, and when a stray one is left on the table by my bed, Riley often does this look of unrequited longing.

Poor guy. He's disappointed every time.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

This is a public service announcement to all of you who may be wondering what to do with all of those tomatoes in your gardens.

If you are not slicing them up and dousing them with sugar, then you are doing the wrong thing.

Friday, August 12, 2011

I know Susie is probably less thrilled to be going back to work than I am for her to be there. But her being at work means she's now closer to Sonic, which means my fridge will look like this more often.

I know, I'm a selfish, selfish friend. :)

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Look! I've gotten really good at growing grass in my flower garden. Aren't you impressed with me?!?! I'm a total green thumb. 

Sunday, August 14, 2011

So, one of my readers, Donna, sent me this as a surprise package months ago and I felt so bad to have to tell her that it never arrived. But then I thought to have someone check my mailbox in case the mailman forgot and left mail in there instead of in my basket by the door.

And lo and behold… it was there! Can you stand it? If you look closely it not only says "Choose Joy" but it has Riley stamped onto the center stone. Which is fitting, because we all know that Riley is the center of the universe around here. :)

Thanks for once again sharing my week with me! Click on the button below if you want to go to Jessica’s site and check out the other participants showing off their weekly photos as well:

Sweet Mariela.

I'm a girl who considers the idea of vacations to include things like hotels and room service, and I wouldn't mind a spa on premises, if we're getting technical.

Granted, I never went on vacation anywhere that actually had a spa on the premises, but in my mind it seemed like something I would enjoy.

A lot.

So I probably wouldn't be the first one to come to mind when people think missionary. And to be honest it was never on my radar growing up simply because it wasn't something I was exposed to. I remember Fr. Nash, whom my family loved, leaving to go to Africa and become a missionary when I was younger, but all I really knew about it was that he was leaving and we threw him a party and I would miss him not stopping by the house.

The limited sight of a child, you know.

It never affected my life until I was in college and my Aunt Janella, who worked at the college I attended and whom I treasured, decided to learn a new language and travel to Bolivia to serve the people.

It overwhelmed me to think of all she was leaving. It overwhelmed me to imagine the things she would see and the conditions in which she would learn to live. And it overwhelmed me with pride to know she was willing to do that – no, was excited to do that – simply because she felt called.

What overwhelmed me the most was that my eyes were finally opened up to a world beyond my doors. To a world of poverty and need and conditions about which my mind was oblivious. And because I got to hear the stories from Janella's perspective, I learned that these were not just faces and statistics on the evening news.

Bolivia was filled with mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters who love just like we love. Who hurt just like we hurt. And who hope for things that we take for granted in the simplest of moments.

After that, although time made it very clear my life would never allow it, I would wonder if that would ever be my calling. If I would ever have the chance to go and be the hands and feet of Christ in that way. If I would ever kneel down and face a child on a dirt road and gaze into eyes that were filled with a story far beyond their years. If I would ever be able to help.

So you can imagine what came over me when Matthew sent me the videos of him meeting my sweet Mariela, the girl he and Jessica allowed me to choose for them to sponsor in my name. I chose her picture, her story. I wrote her a letter and sent her photos and Jessica helped me shop for gifts for her in preparation for Matthew's mission trip.

My heart was already full of prayers for her and excitement over corresponding with her.

But then I saw her sweet smile.

Her shy nature.

The way she took in my story and felt the words in an understanding beyond her years.

The way she looked at the camera when she realized that's where I was, seeing her.

This child has already changed me more than I will ever affect her, I'm sure of it. Because now my world stretches beyond these walls all the way to Bolivia.

{Mariela's message to me}

{Matthew first meeting Mariela}

If you want to help a community better support each other, a family learn trades to earn income, a child to go to school and have the chance to educate themselves into a better future, consider looking into World Vision. They not only help communities, they set the goal of only having to be in a community for 15 years… at which time the community can run all the services for themselves. It's not just helping a child, it's providing a future for an entire village and the generations that will come.

Because not all of us can go be missionaries.

But that doesn't mean we aren't called to a mission.

5 minutes: whole

Today I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo, aka gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.

Only five minutes.

And the rule is that whatever she writes about in that five minutes is what she posts. No editing her thoughts.

Today, her topic choice is "Whole…"

So I'm going to set the timer, write some thoughts, and then I'm going to stop.

Ready? Set. Go.

:::

Whole.

I have fought this word a lot in my life span of being sick. Because so many {truly well-meaning} people have used the word in order to tell me what I could be.

If I would just take another remedy.

If I would just pray a certain prayer.

If I would just… fill in the blank.

If I would just do any one of the magical things that they have just heard about from their aunt's cousin's mother, then I would be…

…wait for it…

WHOLE.

I couldn't figure out for the longest time that *that* was the part that was hurting me. That they were looking at my life and viewing it as something other than complete.

I was less than.

Less than perfect. Less than their idea of what I could be. Less than I was. Less than I should be.

It took a long time for me to sort through all of the noise and clutter of it all to realize that I am whole.

I am in pain, sick, frail, homebound, bedbound, without great possibility or potential in my future.

In all of that, I am whole. I am complete. I am exactly what God made me to be in the exact time He created me to be it.

My Uncle Barney is struggling with cancer, and it has changed and stripped his life. We talked a few weeks ago about his frustration of having talents his whole life that he can no longer use. And I told him that he used them when he was supposed to. And if those things were no longer in his abilities, then they were no longer what God wanted him to do.

Because he is perfect just as he is. He is whole. He is perfect in God's eyes and doing exactly what God needs from him in his life. Just by being himself.

I could speak those words to him because I had experienced those losses. And if all of my suffering was simply so that I could speak those words to an uncle I love when he needed to hear them, then this is worth it.

Because God made me as I am. To do exactly what I am doing.

And I am whole.

Family.

Some really amazing things happened on Monday - I got to meet family I have been dying to see.

I got to know Jessica and Matthew around the time their Elias was born, and these beautiful people came to me, opened their hearts and let me be a part of their family. We call, we Skype, we text. We share our good times and our rough times. They've seen me on camera without makeup and barely talking, and they love me like I'm peppy and easily heard.

They love the way I love. With everything they are. And when you're hit with that kind of acceptance you are never the same.

I'm not the same.

On Monday, Jessica walked right through my door and hugged me, and it felt to me like she just finally came home. I don't know how else to explain it.

And THESE TWO. Oh my soul, these two sweet babies that I've been loving through a screen on the computer. They pulled up in the parking lot and Elias' Nana pulled him out of the car seat… I waved from the window and he put his hand over his mouth as if to say, "She's real!" and I melted. I got hugs and kisses from the cutest boy and then snuggled sweet Adeline.

My own personal version of heaven.

I'm going to get more pictures from Jessica and promise I'll do a post to bombard you with every photo there is to show… but right now I want to introduce you to some other family I got to see on Monday.

This is my sweet Mariela. And I love her with all my heart, too.

While Jess was here showing off her babes to me, Matthew is in Bolivia for World Vision. And a few months ago, around my birthday, he and Jess called to tell me they wanted to do something special. They wanted to let me choose a child to sponsor in the village Matthew was going to visit.

And my heart chose Mariela. This beautiful 10-year-old girl, who comes from a big family with two brothers and six sisters, is now going to be helped because of Matthew and Jessica's choice to sponsor her with World Vision.

According to World Vision, the program will help provide Mariela and her community with school supplies and new classrooms, as well as clean water and ongoing medical care, improved nutrition and hygiene. Her mom will learn job skills that will help them increase their family income and raise the standard of living, and through Christian witness she will have a chance to know the love and grace of God.

And she's going to know she is loved and cared for, by God and by me, because I'm going to write to her and remind her all the time.

Mariela loves to draw and play with dolls, just like every other ten year old… but she faces hardships that no ten year olds I know could imagine. This is a gift to me as much as it is to Mariela, and if you have it in your heart – if you've felt that nudge to do more – follow Matthew's journey to Bolivia and consider sponsoring a child, too.

It's a choice I know you'll never regret.

You can't have too much family to love.

5 minutes: full

Today I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo, aka gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.

Only five minutes.

And the rule is that whatever she writes about in that five minutes is what she posts. No editing her thoughts.

Today, her topic choice is "Full…"

So I'm going to set the timer, write some thoughts, and then I'm going to stop.

Ready? Set. Go.

:::

I was watching television the other day when a commercial for the Iowa Lottery came on. They showed people receiving these boxes at their homes that glowed with a bright white light and said, "DREAM" across the side.

The actors would jump and scream and run in the house yelling, "Honey! I got my dream!" and it was fun and exciting and it got me thinking…

What would be my dream?

And I realized, I don't have one. I don't have a tangible, money-driven dream that the Iowa Lottery would be able to deliver for me.

And I realized it's because I'm full.

I sat here for the longest time and tried to think of something I really needed. Or even something I wanted really badly. And I'm not saying this to be all holier-than-thou, but I really have everything I need. Even before I was gifted this bed for my birthday, the one thing I needed to be comfortable every day, I'm not sure I would have thought of it as a wish.

Because I just feel full.

I woke up this morning and Riley was waiting for my eyes to open so he could lay his head on my stomach and I could pet him until I could move. It was a moment of being truly full because I was needed and wanted and not alone.

I have a safe home and a comfortable place to lay my bones all day. I have friends who call and email. I have a community of people here who really see me. I have family members who love me and check in on me and I am full.

I have everything I need.

I worried about it for a minute… because we live in a world of goals and dreams and five year plans. But as much as I would like for some things to be different in my life, I think I like the lesson I've learned in the way my life turned out.

That God has given me everything I needed as I've needed it. And I am full.

Gitz Bits: week 28

Monday, July 11, 2011

No, I'm not a lush. ;)

My friends Kelly and Kathy came over for supper on Monday night, and since neither of them wanted their picture taken {I tried to convince them after my makeup-less, bedhead photo, but to no avail!} I took this photo to represent them.

You gotta work with what's available.

Kathy is my friend that calls me for questions of all things Catholic, which got interesting this past Lent when she wanted to know if it was breaking the rules if she just gave up wine Monday through Thursday and took the long weekend off each week.

After I finished laughing, and then realizing she was serious, I promised her I'd ask my mom to get a second opinion. That worked in her favor because my mom raised six kids and told Kathy that God would want her to have the wine if it made her a better mother.

I think Kathy is just bypassing me and going straight to my mom with these questions in the future.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Remember cute and cuddly Simon and Theodore? They're looking less cute to me by the day because my patio looks AWFUL.

Although I think it might have been entertaining to watch them break the little windmill looking lawn ornament. Can't you just picture them grabbing onto a blade and yelling "WHEEEE!"

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I get this look a lot.

I was busy re-watching all the seasons of LOST on Netflix, and Riley got a little irritated with the television getting all of my attention. So he sat right in front of it and stared me down.

He wiggles in between me and Padma a lot, and every time I answer the phone he leaps on me and lays across my chest to try to wriggle it out of my hands.

Which is super convenient considering I can't breathe anyway. At least he's got that cute thing going for him...

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Dawn brought me the new frozen strawberry lemonade from McDonalds. I love her.

Friday, July 15, 2011

There's a whole blog post in this photo. I'm sure of it. Because the storm clouds close and the break of light on the horizon just screams hope to me.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

When Linda brought groceries this week, she brought along these two ears of sweet corn. Lord have mercy, I love summer in Iowa.

I also realized how crooked my bottom row of teeth are for how long it took me to rid them of the corn.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

I was watching a Criminal Minds marathon on Sunday night, and I decided that these ASPCA commercials are more disturbing than the show's story lines. I hear Sarah McLachlan or Roberta Flack coming on the screen and I immediately have to mute it and look away.

And hug Riley. They get me every time.

Thanks for once again sharing my week with me! Click on the button below if you want to go to Jessica’s site and check out the other participants showing off their weekly photos as well: