Blog Peep Questions: Round 20

What works better for you… planned visits, or when someone says, "I'm wanting to drive down and see you today, does that suit?"

The funniest thing about this question is that it comes from a reader in Australia, so the odds of them popping in unexpectedly are not great. :)

Planned visits are definitely better for me, simply because there is a lot of planning that goes into me having company. For the week or so before I make sure not to have other people over. I don't talk on the phone unless I have to and I don't Skype with friends.

I rest. Completely. Often with the TV off and in the quiet. I find out what time my company will be coming, and in the week prior I try to adjust my timing accordingly.

Adjust when I take my meds, when I try to sleep, when I try to wake up… all so my body will be able to be used to being well and up when my company is here.

I time out two days ahead when to shower, because if I shower the day before I'll often be too worn out when they're here. I time out when I'm going to fix my hair the day before. I adjust night time meds the night before and up my pain meds the morning of.

I send Susie to Sonic for me {thank God for friends} the morning of so my stomach will be settled and I won't be throwing up while company is here. And then I debate about standing long enough to put on make up, which is usually decided by whether or not the camera will be out. If that's the case, I then decide… YES. Some things are worth the risk when cameras are involved. :)

Everything is planned to a science. And it's worth every moment because it all results in moments like this…

Moments when Elias shows me his cool new car that zooms if you shake it.

And I tell him that maybe, if he shakes it hard enough, we can get it to fly right off the bed…

AND IT WORKS!

So we congratulate ourselves with cheers and fist bumps and high fives all around.

And moments like that right there? Those moments make every bit of effort the week before it worth it.

Every single time.

::: ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: ::: :::

Got a question for me? Just leave one in the comment section and I'll add it to the list. :)

5 minutes: whole

Today I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo, aka gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.

Only five minutes.

And the rule is that whatever she writes about in that five minutes is what she posts. No editing her thoughts.

Today, her topic choice is "Whole…"

So I'm going to set the timer, write some thoughts, and then I'm going to stop.

Ready? Set. Go.

:::

Whole.

I have fought this word a lot in my life span of being sick. Because so many {truly well-meaning} people have used the word in order to tell me what I could be.

If I would just take another remedy.

If I would just pray a certain prayer.

If I would just… fill in the blank.

If I would just do any one of the magical things that they have just heard about from their aunt's cousin's mother, then I would be…

…wait for it…

WHOLE.

I couldn't figure out for the longest time that *that* was the part that was hurting me. That they were looking at my life and viewing it as something other than complete.

I was less than.

Less than perfect. Less than their idea of what I could be. Less than I was. Less than I should be.

It took a long time for me to sort through all of the noise and clutter of it all to realize that I am whole.

I am in pain, sick, frail, homebound, bedbound, without great possibility or potential in my future.

In all of that, I am whole. I am complete. I am exactly what God made me to be in the exact time He created me to be it.

My Uncle Barney is struggling with cancer, and it has changed and stripped his life. We talked a few weeks ago about his frustration of having talents his whole life that he can no longer use. And I told him that he used them when he was supposed to. And if those things were no longer in his abilities, then they were no longer what God wanted him to do.

Because he is perfect just as he is. He is whole. He is perfect in God's eyes and doing exactly what God needs from him in his life. Just by being himself.

I could speak those words to him because I had experienced those losses. And if all of my suffering was simply so that I could speak those words to an uncle I love when he needed to hear them, then this is worth it.

Because God made me as I am. To do exactly what I am doing.

And I am whole.

Family.

Some really amazing things happened on Monday - I got to meet family I have been dying to see.

I got to know Jessica and Matthew around the time their Elias was born, and these beautiful people came to me, opened their hearts and let me be a part of their family. We call, we Skype, we text. We share our good times and our rough times. They've seen me on camera without makeup and barely talking, and they love me like I'm peppy and easily heard.

They love the way I love. With everything they are. And when you're hit with that kind of acceptance you are never the same.

I'm not the same.

On Monday, Jessica walked right through my door and hugged me, and it felt to me like she just finally came home. I don't know how else to explain it.

And THESE TWO. Oh my soul, these two sweet babies that I've been loving through a screen on the computer. They pulled up in the parking lot and Elias' Nana pulled him out of the car seat… I waved from the window and he put his hand over his mouth as if to say, "She's real!" and I melted. I got hugs and kisses from the cutest boy and then snuggled sweet Adeline.

My own personal version of heaven.

I'm going to get more pictures from Jessica and promise I'll do a post to bombard you with every photo there is to show… but right now I want to introduce you to some other family I got to see on Monday.

This is my sweet Mariela. And I love her with all my heart, too.

While Jess was here showing off her babes to me, Matthew is in Bolivia for World Vision. And a few months ago, around my birthday, he and Jess called to tell me they wanted to do something special. They wanted to let me choose a child to sponsor in the village Matthew was going to visit.

And my heart chose Mariela. This beautiful 10-year-old girl, who comes from a big family with two brothers and six sisters, is now going to be helped because of Matthew and Jessica's choice to sponsor her with World Vision.

According to World Vision, the program will help provide Mariela and her community with school supplies and new classrooms, as well as clean water and ongoing medical care, improved nutrition and hygiene. Her mom will learn job skills that will help them increase their family income and raise the standard of living, and through Christian witness she will have a chance to know the love and grace of God.

And she's going to know she is loved and cared for, by God and by me, because I'm going to write to her and remind her all the time.

Mariela loves to draw and play with dolls, just like every other ten year old… but she faces hardships that no ten year olds I know could imagine. This is a gift to me as much as it is to Mariela, and if you have it in your heart – if you've felt that nudge to do more – follow Matthew's journey to Bolivia and consider sponsoring a child, too.

It's a choice I know you'll never regret.

You can't have too much family to love.

Gitz Bits: Week 30

Monday, July 25, 2011

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this to you, but my dog is spoiled.

I know, right? Alert the presses.

This is where he stands by the bathroom sink to let me know he is in need of fresh water. And by needing fresh water, I mean he's saying, "I've drank one drink out of the bowl you got for me a half hour ago, which makes it tainted and not cold enough, so could you please get me some more?"

At which point I say, "Yes, your highness. It would be my pleasure to serve you."

Or something to that affect.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I've been meaning to show this to you forever, because HELLO CUTE BLUE AND BROWN PILLOWS. Dawn and her daughter Hannah found them for me when they were out and about, which apparently now makes her my personal shopper as well as my condo cleaner.

She didn't pick out the elephant, however. That was Riley's addition to the couch decorations.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

This has been an interesting phenomenon since I've gotten the bird feeders.

Did you all know birds unnecessarily feed each other?

It's fascinating. At first I thought one bird was hurt or something because the other one would fly up, get food from the feeder, and fly back down with it to place in the other bird's beak.

But then they started taking turns.

And other birds have done this regularly as well. So, apparently in the animal kingdom, this would be the equivalent of you reaching over to your neighbor's plate and sampling their steak without asking.

Except in the birds' world it's not rude.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

This, on the other hand, is rude. Because those pesky chipmunks, that are so super cute I named them, have taken to digging in my flowers.

I'm looking at you, Theodore.

Friday, July 29, 2011

This is the before picture. The one I like to refer to as, "I'm a cute puppy deep down but all this extra fur leads one to think I'm a grumpy old man."

Saturday, July 30, 2011

I love it when Jonboy and Tyler come with their Grandma to bring my groceries. They'd love it if I kept my condo warmer, however, hence they are snuggled up under the covers.

Cute overload. 

Sunday, July 31, 2011

This is the after picture. Otherwise titled, "I'm looking like a puppy again. You may now go back to thinking all the naughty things I do are cute and not at all my fault." :)

Thanks for once again sharing my week with me! Click on the button below if you want to go to Jessica’s site and check out the other participants showing off their weekly photos as well:

Busting with Happy!

Right now, as you're reading this, I am in pure bliss.

Busting. At. The. Seams.

Out of my mind excited and happy.

How can I predict this? Because you'll be reading it on Monday. And on Monday, these people will be in my condo:

 

Ok, Jessica won't be here twice… she's not magical… but she *is* coming with Elias and Adeline just to see me!!!

Can you believe it? I still can't.

They haven't even come yet and I can already tell you we've had a fabulous time, because that's just who Jess is. And can you stand those little faces? I'm going to hug Jess and plop Elias up in bed to play cars with me and hold Miss Adeline and be in heaven for a couple of hours.

All of this is possible because Jessica is staying with her parents in Wisconsin and – get this – her parents are both driving all the way here with Jess and the kids. So I get to see them, too!

It's like Christmas up in here. :)

I'm going to try to be up early enough to get on some mascara because I have a feeling a few cameras may be brought out… and I promise to show you the pictures and tell you all about it.

But, as you may have noticed, Jess' husband Matthew is missing from this scenario. I'm so bummed to not be seeing him, but am really excited about where he is. While his family is here, Matthew is on a trip to Bolivia for World Vision. I'm going to be telling you all about that in the next few weeks, too, because I have a couple of special connections to his trip.

For now, while I'm busy playing and hugging and holding babies, be sure to go over to his site or check in on the page that will be updating all the posts of the bloggers while they are there: http://blog.worldvision.org/forbloggers/bolivia/

Hope you all have a great day… I know I am!!! :)

5 minutes: still

Today I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo, aka gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.

Only five minutes.

And the rule is that whatever she writes about in that five minutes is what she posts. No editing her thoughts.

Today, her topic choice is "Still…"

So I'm going to set the timer, write some thoughts, and then I'm going to stop.

Ready? Set. Go.

:::

Sometimes it amazes me the parallels these words Lisa Jo chooses can have on my life. And how much duality the words can have in their meaning for me.

Because for about an hour or so last night I was filled with stillness and antsy-ness all at the same time. I was on a conference call with most of my fellow (in)courage writers, and I was forced into stillness because I can't breathe and that makes my voice inaudible. And if you know me, not talking while on the phone is my own personal form of torture. :)

And while my breathing was still and my voice was gone, my body was anything but. So it silently screamed on the outside while the pain raged loudly in my ears. My limbs jerked and fingers ached, which only allowed me to type a sentence or two in our corresponding skype chat.

Which means I was only able to say hi and offer a tiny bit of encouragement in a room full of people I wanted to say so much to. I had to be still because my body was anything but.

This morning, however, as I opened up Lisa-Jo's page and saw "still" as the word of choice, the first thing that came to mind was this:

Be still and know that I am God.

And I wondered what He really meant by that for me. Because the "know that I am God" part totally changes the "be still" part for me.

I think in my world He's not telling me to slow down. I'm already at a standstill. I think He's telling me to let go. To let go of trying to be something I can't be. To let go of the idea that I can do anything about any of this.

I think He's telling me it's ok to be still in these situations because I'm not Him.

He's God and I'm not and so my job, while I hate the stillness and fight the stillness that is created because the pain in my body is anything but still, is simply to let it go.

To be still and let God be God and go with the flow.

Because he's God and I'm not.

What do you think He's saying to you?

Prayer...

I'm running a little below empty in the energy department these days, but it leaves me with so much time on my hands in the quiet. So I want to put that time to good use and do a little rewinding to an old post today and take the time once again to pray for each other.

Will you join in?

The Good and The Beautiful

Sometimes, when life gets crazy or redundant or just too much, I have to remind myself that I get to shift my perspective.

Even when circumstances can't be changed, how we look at them can be. Always.

Because I think we humans tend to look at life as black or white. Good or bad. Beautiful or ugly.

We all love to share the beautiful parts. We all love celebrating with each other and announcing our good news from the rooftops, but it's harder to look at the hard things, the seemingly ugly things, and shout those to everyone around us.

It's harder because we feel like we're burdening people with our burdens. We feel like our problems are probably small next to theirs, and it's not fun to look at the ugly things, and it's not easy to ask for prayer because we feel self-centered and selfish over the bad and the ugly.

I was online with some friends the other night when someone asked for prayer requests and within moments they were flooding in. Everyone felt safe with each other in that community, and I realized how blessed I was when everyone stated their needs without hesitation. And I wondered why we don't do that more often.

Why we don't just say what we need.

Because when we do, our burden is lightened. Our perspective can change. We know we're not going through this life alone.

Life is meant to be shared. The good, the bad and the ugly... which I think is really just the good and the beautiful to Him, you know. Things are hard for us, bad for us, ugly to us, but to Him it’s all just the pattern of life that brings us closer to Him. And there is beauty in that.

The good, the bad and the ugly... God can see ahead to the beauty that comes from the ugly. He's knows the beauty in the ugly pain that we can’t yet see. Our perspective shifts when we trust that He will bring beauty from our pain. That He will carry us as we carry our burdens.

And we can be Christ to each other as we help each other carry those burdens.

So I want to offer that to you today. A place where you can say what you need from us and we can pray for each other. Write your request in the comment, and pray for the person who commented before you.

Let's take the perspective of the good and the beautiful today in everything that's in front of us, let's make it beautiful by sharing it together.

How can we pray for you?