Thursday, December 11, 2008

Off The Table

This seems to be the time of year when there's a lot of reflection on the past 12 months... the ups and downs, the changes, the celebrations and the sadness. It seems hard for me to believe that three seasons have come and gone and winter is upon us again. It felt like a "blink and you'll miss it" kind of year for me.

Awhile back I was reading Alece's blog Grit and Glory, and she posed this question: What’s the most significant thing God did in you this year?

My first thought was, why doesn't anyone ever ask easy questions?!?! But this was my second thought:

He took fear off the table. I’m not even sure how it happened… but I think the extreme uncertainty of my life finally made it very clear. Fear isn’t an option. It’s like He drew a line and said fear or ME. And I didn’t choose fear. And it was one of those fundamental changes where I know it’s just not an option. Everything can be taken away, and I trust Him. Period.

I don't think I stopped to realize it until that exact question was posed, but it's the absolute truth. And I think it was something that was graced for me because it wasn't a specific thing I was consciously trying to do, although it definitely fits with the intention of how I'm trying to live. Something shifted in me and I know that I unequivocally trust Him.

That doesn't mean life is suddenly carefree and easy... it means that in the midst of hard stuff, I'm not scared. If I look back on the past year there is no doubt I'm doing worse now than last year. But I'm not afraid of what next year will bring. He took that option off the table. And I intend to work as hard as I need to in order to keep it that way.

I've found, though, that it's much easier to not choose fear when it comes to my life, but when it comes to those I love I have to work on it more. I want to fix things for them, I want to take away their hard times, their illnesses, their uncertainties. I have to watch my words when I pray for them so it doesn't come from fear, but rather faith.

I was recently having a conversation with my sister when we both agreed that He is the same God today as He was yesterday, we just wonder what in the world He's thinking sometimes.

But that's the point: faith is believing without seeing. I can't see it... I can't know what happens tomorrow. But I know He's got it under control. And that fear is off the table.


  1. Getting fear off the table is huge.
    I have lived whole chunks of my life motivated by fear. Every decision, every relationship, every word.
    It's a decision I have to choose to make over and over. I appreciate your encouragement to focus on God...He's the same...He knows what He's doing...
    But I'm gonna have to agree with you and your sister...there are times I wonder what in the world He's thinking...
    Love to you and the precious pup today...

  2. Hi! I am new to your blog, but I love to read about your walk with Him and I, too, was freed from fear a couple years ago. It was pretty amazing.

    I wanted to thank you for your writing. It's very inspirational. I stumbled across your blog a couple weeks ago. I even posted your "Be intentional" button (with a link) on my blog! :)

    God has used what you are writing to remind me of things I am walking through in this new trial I am in. It's pretty awesome. Thanks!

    P.S. I love Alece's blog, too.

  3. Great post!! Thanks so much for sharing!!! Great insight.

    -Sahsha's Mummy

  4. Ughhh, you're gonna make me think today, I just know it : ) Perfect for reflection, isn't it? I'll go chew on it because my list of fears, oh where would I even begin? Thanks for the mental poke :) Thanks for the ultimate answer too!

    Love ya Girl!

  5. You know, Sara, I remember reading your response at Alece's and thought, "Man! I want to get there."

    I still want to get there. He's working on me, calling me closer all the time. He's using you to speak to me, as well.

    And I think that's really cool.

    Thank you for this.

    Love you!

  6. Sarah - could you send some of the faith that you have, to me? I haven't quite got the "letting go of fear" down yet.

  7. Fear is such a thief. It is a hard thing to conquer, and you are such a strong woman.

  8. Sara. There are no words to express how much I look forward to reading about your walk with God. It encourages me more than you will ever know.

  9. @robin: I know... we waste so much time fearing things we can do nothing about. And I'm glad He gets it because sometimes I REALLY don't! :)

    @debra: welcome :) glad you're here.

    @sasha: thanks! and cute pup in your avatar...

    @vicky: sorry to make you think... it makes my brain hurt some days too! :)

    @michelle: i don't get to peaceful places overnight either... it's all about being mindful and intentional for me. I could slip into fear so easily but I, outloud, remind myself that it's not an option.

    @neas: you don't need mine... you have it in you. i promise.

    @anita: great words... a thief. steals so much time and joy.

    @liz: that comment means more than you can know. I hope your friend is comfortable today. I know it's such a struggle.

  10. I just LOVE this. Odd things is, your talking right up my ally. I could ditto just about everything you've written about fear and faith in this post. He's done that for me this year also.

    Yet another year that He's proven to be a Great God, and a God that is always more than enough.

  11. @rachel: I can see that about you. espcially this last trial... you've handled it with grace and gratitude. I felt like I should have been taking notes. I so get it.

  12. i'm so glad you posted this. i remember your comment just rocked me when i first read it. and it did now again too.

  13. "Powerful Post, Gitz"

    ...That's what I wanted to type. And leave it there. Short and simple.

    But then I remembered what you told Tam, and I decided to change my comment:

    "Very Powerful Post, Gitz"


  14. Sara, i read this and always remembered how you were in high school always making everyone else feel good while you had struggles of your own noone even new . Your beleive in God has always been there and he will always be there for you .
    We are just here living the best we know how and when he calls we will go. When i think of you Sara all i think of is the kindness in you and Howeling at the moon on the top of the barn.
    Sheri Zeimet