Words

Before Sara died, she asked me to speak at her wake. She didn't desire that I share with others memories of her. Rather, she asked that I speak about who she was in this world. She told me that she wanted people who came to see her as I spoke.  She also told me I wasn't allowed to cry. It would, she stated, "Make things less effective." Love her.  A friend who was present asked that I (Shannon) put it up for all of you, who were unable to join us at the service, to read.


.  .  .  .  .  .  .

Gail Caldwell wrote: "It's an old, old story. I had a friend and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that too."  

Words are powerful. Uniting. They shape our view of the world, ourselves, each other. Words, in the best cases, make us immortal. Words are how I found her. Faith is what brought us together.

A friend send me an email, asking me to pray for a mother who knew she was going to lose her baby girl and carried her to term anyway. I immediately prayed, and then got online to read something called a blog. First time I'd read one. In. My. Life. I took in the entries from first to last, with tears streaming. My heart ached. I prayed. I returned again and again to follow this mom's story. In the process? 

I found Sara.

Our friendship was wildly unexpected. I linked to gitzengirl.com and as I read I heard her voice. Honest. Full of Faith. Strong. True. Her words? They were her, and like a book waiting to be opened, I dove in. Heart first. Because that's how all of the great things in life are to be done. I sent an email explaining the similarities in our stories and assuring her that I'd never written to someone like this before, I wasn't creepy, and um, if she had some time, could we possibly correspond? She immediately replied with an, "Of course! I'd love to get to know you..." And, as it's said, the rest, for us, for was history. Day in, day out, doing "life" together. Only now, knowing what I do about her, does this response make me laugh. I'm quite sure that is how Sar answered every single person who contacted her. .

Sara did everything full throttle, both feet in, filled with intention and limitless enthusiasm, shown by the sparkle in her eyes for what most interested those she loved. She told me that the most important gift you could ever give someone was your full and undivided attention. Sara got it. She knew that to live well meant to treasure moments and seem them as gifts. She chose joy. Not happiness, which is as flimsy as a shirt blowing on a line in the breeze, but true heart joy which sustains through obstacles, disease, death. She make the hard choices. 

Every

Day

She chose community . Using her words to a build a life when her body failed her. She shared her faith boldly. She was real. Alive. Present in every moment. She made those around her and those who shared her world via her words desire to enjoy their days as she would have...

No going back

No regrets

...taking the time to feel the sun kiss their cheeks and cause freckles, which she so missed seeing on her own. Sara lived. 

Every 

Single

Day

She was a daughter, a sister, a friend. She loved to sing. She loved to dance. She made the world's best volcano cake. She adored cheese...and Oreos, frozen and dipped in peanut butter. Some have called her inspirational. She was, but not intentionally. Honestly though? To me? She's simply Sara, my best friend. The one with the snort-filled laugh who made up songs for everything. She had eyes that twinkled and hugs that filled you up way past overflowing. She was my heart.

And here she is, proclaiming that it's not about her, in full Sara-get-the-last-word fashion. But this time? I have to disagree. Because it is about her, what He's done through her.It's about her taking the time to teach us through her words and her beautiful life how to be genuine and honest. How to love the Lord and follow Him. How to make our lives more outward focused than in. Loving well. Living well. Choosing joy. That was our gitz. And because here, in this place, she deserves the final word, I'll leave you with hers...

"Make it about Him, not you. Enjoy every second. Choose joy."

Well said, good and faithful servant. Well said.

...

Choose Joy

Hi Friends,

This is Shannon. It's Friday evening, and Sara is resting peacefully.

Laura, Sara's sister, told me she's been still most of the day and that her last few nights were restful. Steve, her brother, shared with me how beautiful she is when she's asleep. That friends, is joy.

I imagine it's a whole mix of happy and sad in the condo right now. Sara is finally finding peace in her body, something many of us have not witnessed in years.

Joy

She'll soon be enjoying an easy breath, laughter that does not cause pain, sweet vocalization, and a reunion with her Dad.

Joy

Her finish line is in sight, a well paced race run with determination and endurance.


Joy


Sara is a woman of countless friends...friends are writing to and about her, linking up over with Jessica. Sara's family is reading the posts and is so thankful for the ways you all love her so well. Just last month, Sara held Jess' sweet, pink, beautiful bundle. A baby in her arms. She ran cars off of the bed with Elias. Memories that Jessica will treasure for a lifetime.

Joy


This place has always been one of honesty. Gitz is all about real. Even when there's pain mixed in.So, we'll walk together on this road, surrounding each other, lifting Sara and her family up, celebrating her life. We'll do it for her, because she's amazing. We'll also remember that it's okay for us to feel, to cry out, to lean on each other. She's taught us that. Who knew that as she was posting on her grief she'd be giving us a guidebook to what our lives may look like just a year later? He did.

Joy


She's headed home to Him.

Joy


I'm choosing it. Now. In this moment. Through the tears, the pain, the memories. In loving Sara, I've made my choice.

I Choose Joy

In God's Heart, I Am...

When I was a little girl, I thought I would be a poet.

{I also thought I would be the next Mary Lou Retton and the next Olivia Newton John and the next Bionic Woman, but those are stories you can go back and read...}

The first poem I remember showing to Mom, she didn't believe I wrote. I was little and out of nowhere my head came up with this:

God gives Himself to each of us,
To each a special part.
But I am the luckiest one of them all
For unto me He gave a piece of His heart.

After awhile I convinced her I hadn't copied it from one of my children's books so it went on the fridge, which was enough for me to consider myself published.

I was little and wanted to make sure I always had God's heart in me, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was in His.

It's easy to believe as a child.

But then we grow older.

And we see our flaws.

And we hide more than we show.

And instead of believing we are in His heart we shift our thinking and we start trying to earn our way in. Into a place where He already holds us as a precious gift.

My friend and (in)courage sister, Holley Gerth, saw that in herself and women all around her, and listened to a prompting that caused her to write God's Heart for You: Embracing Your True Worth as a Woman.

And girls, we need this book.

It's a tiny little book, but it is powerful. I've had so many little daily devotionals over the years that have been nice, and I read them and put them away and went about my day. But this one is different.

This one has made me pause.

Each day is only a few pages long, but Holley doesn't mess around. She starts with an idea, tells you her thoughts and then asks you three questions that stop you dead in your tracks.

Not the questions that you do two minutes before faith sharing because you're running late and they are typical ones you don't have to think about. {Not that I ever did that. Ahem.}

These are questions that dive into your heart, so that you can see yourself more clearly in His.

And after you ponder and pray and realize something new, she gives you a few lines of a prayer you think she pulled right out of your own heart, and then she gives you a pep talk that leaves your ready to face your day with a new readiness you didn't know you needed.

Can you tell I like this little treasure?

Would you like a copy, too?

Good. Because I'm giving one away. :)

If you want to be entered in, all you have to do is leave me a comment finishing this statement:

In God's Heart, I am...

Here's a video with some other people's answers if you need help getting started:

Please, only one comment per person, and the contest will go until 11:00 pm Thursday night. I'll announce the winner on Friday.

Good luck!

Gitz Bits: Week 33

Monday, August 15, 2011

This poor robin was in a tizzy trying to get some food on Monday. The feeder s/he was standing on is supposed to be safe against animals like raccoons and chipmunks, so when they stand on the little ledges their weight pulls the cage down and the food opening is covered by the leaves.

Well, apparently the robin had eaten a worm too many and was too heavy to actually get any of the birdseed.

If only the same was true for fast food windows...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I did a little food experimenting myself, which is almost unheard of in my world, but it turned out great! I was looking through a blog that had a recipe that filled all of my requirements:

1. I had all the ingredients in my house.
2. It required absolutely no effort on my part.

Because I love you all, here's what you do:

Mix 12oz. of your favorite barbeque sauce, 1/2 cup Italian salad dressing and 1/4 cup brown sugar and put it over 6 frozen chicken breasts in a crock pot.

{I only had three frozen chicken breasts and it seemed perfect to me because I liked the extra sauciness.}

You leave it on high in the crockpot for four hours and then pull the chicken apart with two forks. It is YUMMY. You're welcome.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

This is what Riley and I look like when we're not making great things in crockpots.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

I was so happy that my little yellow flower started to get blooms on it again! I was afraid with all this dry hot weather that the time for flowers was over. I love it when I'm proven wrong.

Friday, August 19, 2011

I was so grateful it was such a beautiful day out for my Uncle Barney's family to have his funeral and celebrate his life. I took a picture of this gorgeous blue sky because I know the gray days of winter are coming soon enough and we need to enjoy these fluffy cloud moments. 

Saturday, August 20, 2011

My sweet sister Laura texted me a picture of her and Jeff getting my nephew Thomas settled in the dorm for his first year of college.

I'm so incredibly proud of him and can't believe it's time for him to be on his own already. And right now I'm just hoping his roommate doesn't mind Iowa Hawkeye apparel. :) 

Sunday, August 21, 2011

My darling seven-year-old Yodi got to borrow her big sister's cell phone on Sunday and we spent hours – literally hours – texting back and forth. It was so sweet to go over everything from how much we love each other to how sad she is I live so far away to how the pop rocks she was eating feel when they explode in her mouth.

I loved every single minute of finding out everything there was to know about her day on Sunday. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Thanks for once again sharing my week with me! Click on the button below if you want to go to Jessica’s site and check out the other participants showing off their weekly photos as well:

Flashback Friday: Soul Desire

I have the privilege of "being" at my Uncle Barney's funeral today as he asked that some of my songs be played instead of having a choir sing. I can't tell you how much it means to me that he would want that, and that it's still possible I can give to him in that small way today despite not being able to travel home.

So today, in honor of him, I'm doing a Flashback Friday with a song that speaks to me about the way I want to live out my life.

The same way Barney lived his.

My Soul Desire
{originally posted April 17, 2009}

Tonight I had the girls over for our faith sharing night, and this paragraph from Max Lucado's Traveling Light struck me in a big way:

God hates arrogance. He hates arrogance because we haven't done anything to be arrogant about. Do art critics give awards to the canvas? Is there a Pulitzer for ink? Can you imagine a scalpel growing smug after a successful heart transplant? Of course not. They are only tools, so they get no credit for the accomplishments.

Now, at some point in the discussion I think Susie called me a tool, and didn't mean it in the nicest way, but that's not the point I'm trying to make here. :) In every part of the 23rd Psalm, which this book is based on, it talks about all God does for us:

"He makes me..."

"He leads me..."

"He restores my soul..."

And once again I am reminded that I need to be mindful of having a servant's heart. I have to be intentional in all the actions I take, knowing that all I do needs to point back to Him... the One who gets the praise for writing the story of our lives. The story for which I am blessed enough to be the ink.

And I just happen to have recorded a song back in the day that reminds me of just that.

01 My Soul Desire by gitzengirl

Gitz Bits: Week 32

Monday, August 8, 2011

Monday was my parents' 47th wedding anniversary, so I thought taking a snapshot of their wedding photo was fitting.

Their wedding cake had tiny little figurines on it that looked like the bride and groom, as well as groomsmen and bridesmaids that were in matching blue dresses and veils.

You can imagine how happy I was to find that box in the closet when I was a little girl… they were way more fun to play with than Barbies as far as I was concerned.  

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I think I already showed you guys the "JOY" blocks I have in my curio cabinet, so I wanted to show you the ones that spell out HOPE as well. Because we can all use a little hope in our day, can't we? :)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

And this shot is the definition of hope from Riley's perspective.

I have a bit of an addiction to Sweetarts and Starbursts, and when a stray one is left on the table by my bed, Riley often does this look of unrequited longing.

Poor guy. He's disappointed every time.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

This is a public service announcement to all of you who may be wondering what to do with all of those tomatoes in your gardens.

If you are not slicing them up and dousing them with sugar, then you are doing the wrong thing.

Friday, August 12, 2011

I know Susie is probably less thrilled to be going back to work than I am for her to be there. But her being at work means she's now closer to Sonic, which means my fridge will look like this more often.

I know, I'm a selfish, selfish friend. :)

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Look! I've gotten really good at growing grass in my flower garden. Aren't you impressed with me?!?! I'm a total green thumb. 

Sunday, August 14, 2011

So, one of my readers, Donna, sent me this as a surprise package months ago and I felt so bad to have to tell her that it never arrived. But then I thought to have someone check my mailbox in case the mailman forgot and left mail in there instead of in my basket by the door.

And lo and behold… it was there! Can you stand it? If you look closely it not only says "Choose Joy" but it has Riley stamped onto the center stone. Which is fitting, because we all know that Riley is the center of the universe around here. :)

Thanks for once again sharing my week with me! Click on the button below if you want to go to Jessica’s site and check out the other participants showing off their weekly photos as well:

Sweet Mariela.

I'm a girl who considers the idea of vacations to include things like hotels and room service, and I wouldn't mind a spa on premises, if we're getting technical.

Granted, I never went on vacation anywhere that actually had a spa on the premises, but in my mind it seemed like something I would enjoy.

A lot.

So I probably wouldn't be the first one to come to mind when people think missionary. And to be honest it was never on my radar growing up simply because it wasn't something I was exposed to. I remember Fr. Nash, whom my family loved, leaving to go to Africa and become a missionary when I was younger, but all I really knew about it was that he was leaving and we threw him a party and I would miss him not stopping by the house.

The limited sight of a child, you know.

It never affected my life until I was in college and my Aunt Janella, who worked at the college I attended and whom I treasured, decided to learn a new language and travel to Bolivia to serve the people.

It overwhelmed me to think of all she was leaving. It overwhelmed me to imagine the things she would see and the conditions in which she would learn to live. And it overwhelmed me with pride to know she was willing to do that – no, was excited to do that – simply because she felt called.

What overwhelmed me the most was that my eyes were finally opened up to a world beyond my doors. To a world of poverty and need and conditions about which my mind was oblivious. And because I got to hear the stories from Janella's perspective, I learned that these were not just faces and statistics on the evening news.

Bolivia was filled with mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters who love just like we love. Who hurt just like we hurt. And who hope for things that we take for granted in the simplest of moments.

After that, although time made it very clear my life would never allow it, I would wonder if that would ever be my calling. If I would ever have the chance to go and be the hands and feet of Christ in that way. If I would ever kneel down and face a child on a dirt road and gaze into eyes that were filled with a story far beyond their years. If I would ever be able to help.

So you can imagine what came over me when Matthew sent me the videos of him meeting my sweet Mariela, the girl he and Jessica allowed me to choose for them to sponsor in my name. I chose her picture, her story. I wrote her a letter and sent her photos and Jessica helped me shop for gifts for her in preparation for Matthew's mission trip.

My heart was already full of prayers for her and excitement over corresponding with her.

But then I saw her sweet smile.

Her shy nature.

The way she took in my story and felt the words in an understanding beyond her years.

The way she looked at the camera when she realized that's where I was, seeing her.

This child has already changed me more than I will ever affect her, I'm sure of it. Because now my world stretches beyond these walls all the way to Bolivia.

{Mariela's message to me}

{Matthew first meeting Mariela}

If you want to help a community better support each other, a family learn trades to earn income, a child to go to school and have the chance to educate themselves into a better future, consider looking into World Vision. They not only help communities, they set the goal of only having to be in a community for 15 years… at which time the community can run all the services for themselves. It's not just helping a child, it's providing a future for an entire village and the generations that will come.

Because not all of us can go be missionaries.

But that doesn't mean we aren't called to a mission.

Thought for the Day...

When I first walked through the doors to my new job, I didn't care about anything except that I got that job. The one that made me a writer.

I was at a magazine and I was going to write {eventually}. I started out as low man on the totem pole. I was an administrative assistant to the editor and in the first week I had that man's office reorganized, color coded, and his stack of articles edited and reformatted.

I'm pretty sure he gave me a writing assignment just to get me out of his hair.

So there I was, working for a trade publication about call centers - knowing nothing about the industry -about to do my first official interview for my first official article. And to be honest, I didn't care about the industry at all. Predictive dialers might as well have been calculus for how much I enjoyed reading about them.

But I called my first interviewee and learned something invaluable: It doesn't matter if I know about the subject matter, or if it interests me. I just need to care about the people.

Because that man I interviewed? He was mad about the industry. He was jazzed about predictive dialers. All I had to do was ask him a question and from there on out it was about the conversation. About learning from someone who was thrilled to teach. About adapting my own priorities into caring about his. 

Suddenly it wasn't about trudging through an interview about the most boring subject on earth to me, it was about investing in a man who had a story to tell. And I had the ability to tell it.

In a time when every self help book I read talked about finding groups of like-minded people to further your goals, and being true to who you are over who others may want you to be, I found the opposite to be true. I found that if I went into every situation caring more about what was important to the other person, then who I was grew ten fold.

I learned that it was all about the person, and in order to care about the person I needed to choose to care about what was important to them, and make it important to me.

I was thinking about this because you all saw this photo and said you weren't sure who was more the kid, me or Elias:

And the truth is that I couldn't have cared less about a car zooming off the bed. But I cared that Elias did. His interest became my interest and his excitement became my excitement, and before I knew it I was filled up with contagious joy.

We all do that for children. Imagine if we did that for other adults as well.

Imagine if we cared more about them feeling happy than us feeling right.

Imagine if we cared more about them feeling known than us feeling superior.

Imagine if we cared more about them feeling accepted than us feeling righteous.

Imagine if we cared more about them feeling joy than us feeling envy.

Imagine if we cared more about them feeling abundance than us feeling security.

Maybe sometimes it's not so much about being who we are at all costs. Maybe sometimes it's about letting go of who we are to see who we might become.

Just something to think about.

Gitz Bits: Week 31

Monday, August 1, 2011

What a perfect day. :) Every time Adeline was hungry, Jess came and got her to feed her. And every time she was done, she walked back over to the bed and put her in my arms.

Pretty much the perfect arrangement, if you ask me. 

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Riley didn't think ANY of this was a perfect arrangement, however. I had decided early on that mixing Elias, a brand new baby and Riley was probably not going to be the smoothest option for the visit. Because I REALLY wanted to hold Adeline, and I knew that would never happen safely with Riley around.

So I shaved his hair as short as I could to help with my reacting to him and sent him off on a play date with Susie for the day. He did *great* with Susie… behaving way better than he does here at home. Heck, I was on the phone with her at one point when someone came to her door and Riley didn't make a peep.

We decided he's definitely more protective of me. But when he came home we also decided he was definitely not happy with me just giving him away like that.

I got the cold shoulder. BIG TIME.

I'm still not sure if he was mad because I sent him away, or because he discovered there's a whole world out there that I've been keeping him from...

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I'm cheating and posting another Monday photo, simply because there's a cute baby involved. But the photo is actually to point out the cute pillow.

Shannon found this pillow in a Christian book store and snatched it up for me as a surprise... not only do the colors match my duvet EXACTLY, but it has my blog theme of Choose Joy front and center.  I thought at first she had it made, but she swears it was just sitting there already perfectly designed.

I love when that kind of thing happens. I love even more that my sweet friend saw it and thought of me. And I especially love the baby it's sitting next to.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Speaking of sweet and thoughtful gifts, when Jessica and her parents came, they brought me this amazing bird bath! Doesn't it look beautiful by the hasta?

I think the birds were a little afraid of the fake cardinal at first, but they have been dipping their beaks and feathers quite often the past few days. On Thursday there were three of them hanging out, but they saw the motion of me grabbing the camera and flew away before I could catch them in action.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Have you ever seen a sweeter face?

My Yodi girl turned seven on Saturday, and on Friday afternoon she got her ears pierced to celebrate. It was a BIG day, so we skyped that night so I could see the sparklers in her ears. Which she said, by the way, didn't hurt at all.

Brave girl.

I had mailed her gift earlier in the week, so she got to open it that night while we were on skype. I had sent her some special earrings and that's the look on her face as she opened them. You would have thought I pulled stars right out of the sky and put them in box for her.

She's just the sweetest thing.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Would you look at that? I FINALLY got two goldfinches at once. Elvis must have told Priscilla about his hangout so she could join him. 

Sunday, August 7, 2011

I cheated again with another Monday photo. But I couldn't let this picture go without showing it to you, because this little stinker could work that iPhone like a pro. There is no doubt Elias takes in everything around him because he not only looked big playing games on the phone, he sounded big as he kissed Adeline's head every time she woke up and said in his cutest three-year-old voice, "Hey there, pretty girl."

I so love him.

Thanks for once again sharing my week with me! Click on the button below if you want to go to Jessica’s site and check out the other participants showing off their weekly photos as well: