I'm not entirely sure what seed got planted in my head to make me decide to start this blog. It just seemed like a good idea one day so I putzed around on the computer and in no time it was up and running. It was almost too easy, but I suppose if it wasn't I wouldn't have dove into it without thinking about it a little more. It's only been a week of writing everyday but I'm really glad that seed was there.
I used to work at a magazine in town, which has long since been bought out and moved to California. I'm pretty sure the name isn't even the same anymore. I look back now and realize I was so incredibly lucky to get a little piece of my dream before this disease took away my freedom to work. I got to be a part of getting a magazine published. I was able to write articles and have my name in print. I got to travel to trade shows in Chicago and Denver, and did interviews with major companies. I got to be a part of something that is tangible and that's pretty amazing to me.
I think a lot of my life, looking back, worked out that way. I was never a major player at a magazine, but I got to be a part of producing one. I was never a well-known singer, but I was appreciated in my community. I only sang at church and weddings and funerals, but I think I touched people when I sang and I know they offered me a lot when they listened. I was never a celebrated actress but I got to be in plays and musicals and relished every moment.
It's amazing that when you look at what you have, instead of what you won't or don't have, you usually see that in one form or another you've gotten what you wished for. It may not have been yours for long enough, or it may not have been as big as you dreamed it would be, but it was there.
That's why I really think I started this blog. I got tired of telling people what I used to do and who I used to be. I used to be a writer. I used to be a singer. I used to love to dance. When my friend's daughter Alex was a little girl we would spend a lot of time snuggling on the couch and talking about what she dreamed of doing or being. One day she looked at me and said, "When I get bigger I'm going to be just like you." Then she cocked her head and looked right in my eyes, obviously wondering what exactly that meant. Her eyes lit up and she declared, "I'm going to be sick!"
After I picked her mom up off the floor and revived her from her faint, I did my best not to bust out laughing and explained to her that I liked doing a lot of things, and she should just be whatever made her happy.
But for the record, Alex... I'm a writer.