Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Gratitude

I so believe in the power of prayer, but I have never been comfortable asking for it from people. I’m actually never comfortable asking for anything, really, which I’m sure can be frustrating for the people around me. I think it’s that asking for help always garners attention that I immediately feel uncomfortable about… like I instantly want to apologize for turning people in my direction instead of their own lives. I hate the idea of my life being worrisome or a burden on others.

I’m not going to lie… I’m so glad I threw that out the window this week.

The past few days you all have overwhelmed me so much with your generosity. Your time, your prayers, your love and concern. Overwhelmed is the only word I can come up with. I am feeling isolated in my body right now, but I have never felt less alone in my entire life.

Physically, this is continuing to be a painful process. Everyone has been so helpful and my nurses have been great. I’m going to stay on the reduction schedule since there doesn’t seem to be a way to do this that will be any easier, but they are in process of changing me to some stronger pain meds that will hopefully ease this a little bit as we keep going.

Here’s what I can tell you, though… while my body is not enjoying this [that may be the understatement of the century, I realize], I am fine. I am not sad or scared or frustrated or any of those things… I’m simply resolved to do this, and I credit all of that to your prayers and support. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s true. I’ve never been so glad in my life that I threw my pride or whatever it is out the window and asked for you all to be here with me as I started this. I really can’t thank you enough.

Just know that while I’m hanging out between the rock and the hard place, I’m doing ok. Like all things, this rock is just a stepping stone. And I’m just taking it one step at a time.

stepping stones button

43 comments:

  1. Oh I am so glad to 'hear your voice'. You have been so on my heart and mind. I look forward to hearing you say "glad that is over" or something like that. Still praying for you. Love you.

    Recent blog:=- Blister Fixer

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  2. I don't mean to sound trite with the 'glad that is over'. I'm trying to believe for the time when you are on the other side of this particular struggle. It came out a little weird. My heart is torn for you, but I'm trying not to be too gushy in my responses. Much, much love to you.

    Recent blog:=- Blister Fixer

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  3. Cynthia Lott VogelJuly 29, 2009 at 10:54 AM

    Sara, I'm really glad to hear from you...and that you are triumphing in your spirit...regardless of the fact that your body is still entrenched in the battle.
    You continue to be an example and an encouragement to me...I'm having some bad struggles with pain currently...if you think of me, send up a prayer, ok? Maybe my prayers and your prayers can keep each other company on the way up to the Father!
    Love you...Keep the faith and keep fighting!
    Cynthia

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  4. I have been thinking of you and praying for you CONSTANTLY this week and will continue to do so.

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  5. I am so glad that all the prayer around you is lifting you up. I am honored to pray for you. I will let my circle here know your update and we will continue in prayer.

    That art is on my wall in the living room. Everybody that sees it loves it. Every time I look at it I pray for you!

    May you feel the warmth of all of our love and prayers. Blessings and strength sent your way.

    Recent blog:=- Dear Lord….

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  6. Praying sweet sister! God is holding you.

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  7. Robin~All Things Heart and HomeJuly 29, 2009 at 12:54 PM

    I feel like I can come up for air now that I've heard from you. I love you and I'm not going to stop these prayers...keep us informed when you can Sweet One. Hugs~R

    Recent blog:=- Shattered Dreams

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  8. Still PRAYING very hard for you, friend. Candace and I had a wonderful chat last night (via FB) and are both amazed by your positive attitude and strength to never give up! :)

    I told her...that when you call her...or she is able to stop over for a super short visit...to give you LOTS of HUGS for me!! :)

    You are always on my heart girly and in my prayers.

    Loves!!

    Recent blog:=- Wordless Wednesday!

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  9. Hey Buddy,

    I am so so proud of you for being humble enough to ask for help, to realize you are worth it a million gazillion times over, and for trusting us to just keep loving you.

    You are amazing! Hang out between that rock and that hard place, and climb on top to sunbathe.

    I love you and feel so relieved that you posted so I know you are surving. Phew. I am praying and praying and praying some more...and will keep doing so until, um, well, it is never ending :)

    I love you and send you hugs from me!

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  10. Hey Buddy,

    I am so so proud of you for being humble enough to ask for help, to realize you are worth it a million gazillion times over, and for trusting us to just keep loving you.

    You are amazing! Hang out between that rock and that hard place, and climb on top to sunbathe.

    I love you and feel so relieved that you posted so I know you are surviving. Phew. I am praying and praying and praying some more...and will keep doing so until, um, well, it is never ending on your behalf.

    I love you and send you hugs from me! I am rejoicing!!!

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  12. Good for you! I've been doing that lately too--asking for help, letting people help me, and yada yada. I'd MUCH rather be strong and capable and rich and un-needy, but OH WELL. :) God is good and has lots for me to learn in ALL situations.

    Love you! It's an HONOR to pray for you, friend!

    Recent blog:=- hump

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  13. My prayer was just answered... I just wanted to know you're getting by and that you are not alone. Thank you for updating! Please know we aren't stopping our prayers and I hope you continue to feel our love! Please tell those sweet nurses how grateful we are that you are in such great hands. Love and hugs to you! Stay strong and step away!

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  14. I am so glad to hear from you. You are in my prayers and I am reminded to pray each and every time I look at my two 'Rileys'. They won't let me forget you. And I know how hard it is to ask for anything - I am the exact same way. Just remember that doing so allows us to feel more a part of your life and gives us an outlet to serve someone. Keep taking each small step and improve a little each day. The little steps add up to great big miles.

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  15. Ditto to above - so glad and relieved to hear from you! I hope the pain meds help, and I'll continue to pray for you.

    Recent blog:=- Wordless Wednesday

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  16. so glad to get an update, thinking and praying for you constantly..

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  17. Hi sweetie. I am so glad to see a post from you. Always know that I am just upstairs if there is anything you need or want, even some comfort food, chocolate cake, Honeycomb cereal..anything to bring a smile to your face. If you ever have the energy for a short visit or a phone call please let me know. I miss you and my little buddy Riley. Know that I'm always thinking of you and praying for you. Martini sends both you and Riley lots of puppy kisses too and I send hugs from the 3rd floor. :) Jess and I were chatting last night on FB and you are such a wonderful inspiration in faith, love and hope.

    I thought I saw your mom's car at lunch today so if she's there please tell her hello for me.

    Hugs, well wishes and prayers,
    Candace

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  18. Dear Sweet Sara, I am so glad to hear from you. After your last post I struggled with words to say. I started several comments and emails but all my words just seemed so inadequate to what you were enduring. So I resorted to what I knew would be adequate, prayers on my knees for you. I'm hopeful the pain meds with help your body endure the reduction schedule. Blessings, SusanD

    Recent blog:=- Thankful Thursday - 7/23/09

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  19. So glad to here from you. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that the reduction continues and the additional meds help. Take care and keep the faith.

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  20. Sara. I have been praying for you each day that God will absorb the pain and make it bareable for you. I am a friend of Theresa's and she let me and some others know about your rock and hard place. I pray that God will soften both for you. God Bless you, Katie

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  21. Oh, Sara, I have been so worried about you, I have thought about you each day and worried if you were OK. I am so glad for an update, hope things will improve for you quickly.

    Recent blog:=- Simple Sunday and a Request

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  22. Phew! So glad to "see" you here again. I find myself remembering to pray for you at the oddest moments of the day. We're all still here, still got your back, girl.

    Recent blog:=- In which I may end up with a deep freeze after all

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  23. So glad to receive an update. I have been thinking about you lots and hoping you are doing OK. Hang in there...and please don't ever hesitate to ask for help from others!!!! A lesson I am having a hard time learning, but a good one nonetheless!

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  24. I don't often comment here, but just wanted you to know prayers are offered for you. Hang in there.

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  25. Hey! I'm so glad to see you blogged today. I'd been looking--hoping--praying to hear your voice.
    Loved your honesty in admitting it's not easy to ask for prayer. Agree.

    Love,
    J

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  26. I was so glad to see a new post from you in my reader! I'm keeping you in my prayers. So glad you have plenty of help, but errands, meals, anything - holler!

    Recent blog:=- Faith, Hope, and Beaded Bracelets

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  27. I am so glad to see your post today. I hope the pain meds provide you some relief. You will stay always in my prayers.

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  28. Thank you so much for giving us an update.
    Tons of prayers going up for you. Praying for your comfort and that you will hear God's word spoken to you in peace.

    Recent blog:=- Gardens

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  29. Sara,...I am so grateful to "hear" from you today just like everyone else. Hang in there sweet one...we are all pulling for you.

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  30. Robynn's RavingsJuly 29, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    You have been on my mind and heart SO MUCH!! That IS God - bringing you to me in the night when I wake up even. I have gone through a rough two days after a reaction to some medicine but I kept thinking....I can do this. How much MORE is Sara going through?! It's good to hear what's happening and yes, it is hard to ask because you do feel like you're jumping up and down and asking everyone to redirect their lives. Feels very spotlight-ish and yet we can't deny others what we would want for ourselves. I know I want in. Don't you, when you're friends/family need you? If you can encourage, prayer, love, talk to, etc.? Thanks for taking the risk.

    Recent blog:=- Tooth Update and a Plea……

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  31. Hi! I came from Vicky's blog. I want you to know that I am praying for you...and I hope that every day is better and better. The Great Physician is amazing...continue to lean on Him. Take care of you.
    Smiles,
    Jackie

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  32. I love that one! Praying for you.

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  33. I came over from Suzanne's blog, Coloradolady, and I have just spent close to an hour reading through your blog posts and being inspired by your words and your spirit. I will be adding you to my prayer list. (You write beautifully). laurie

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  34. I'm so glad to read about how you're doing. I've been praying for you.

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  35. It has been so difficult to bear the 'nots' during this last few days....not having heard from you, not knowing what you've been going through, not knowing how you were dealing with pain, not, not, not. Thank you so much for the update, thank you for letting us hear from you, but most of all thank God for answering the multitude of prayers that have been offered up in great love on your behalf! Dave, Penny and I are in continual prayer for you and every aspect of your situation, offering up some fasting, as well. You are never alone and are surrounded with great love by so many...and thanks be to God for it all! From one whose heart is overflowing with admiration and love for you....

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  36. Been thinking of you all week...hoping for an update.
    Once again, you amaze me with your attitude.
    You constantly 'pour' into my spirit. Thank you.

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  37. Thanks for the update. Still praying...

    Recent blog:=- valley of weeping

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  38. A good friend of mine, Theresa, forwarded your request for prayer to me and I feel so blessed to be able to pray for you! Know that you are in my heart and prayers. By receiving your request for prayer, I found myself praying for all the ones that are going through some form of medical problems and their families. I do not know their names, but our Father in Heaven sure does. He doesn't miss a thing! Thank you for the priviledge of praying for you and others! God Bless your sweet heart!

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  39. So glad to hear you are doing well with this excruciating process. I have been thinking about you a lot this week hoping and praying that the transition would not be as bad as last time you tried it. I emailed you a while ago regarding ordering a canvas...not sure if you got it. I will continue to pray and know that God will give you peace!

    Love, Kim

    Recent blog:=- Loving Photoshop CS4

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  40. So glad to hear from you ... and SO GLAD that you gave us specifics to pray for this week. I've been gone on a little mini-vacation, but you've never been far from my mind. Praying that your attitude and inner strength continue to be safe from the affects of this med change. One stepping stone at a time, my friend!
    Take care of you,
    Denise

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  41. Hey there friend - just lettin' you know I'm thinking of you and sending my prayers. Be strong!!!
    ~Cynthia in MT

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  42. God is so good, Sara. I am thrilled to know that He has been surrounding you and lifting you up through the prayers of His children. I am convinced He will remain faithful to you, and I pray you will continue to cling to the ROCK.

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