I so believe in the power of prayer, but I have never been comfortable asking for it from people. I’m actually never comfortable asking for anything, really, which I’m sure can be frustrating for the people around me. I think it’s that asking for help always garners attention that I immediately feel uncomfortable about… like I instantly want to apologize for turning people in my direction instead of their own lives. I hate the idea of my life being worrisome or a burden on others.
I’m not going to lie… I’m so glad I threw that out the window this week.
The past few days you all have overwhelmed me so much with your generosity. Your time, your prayers, your love and concern. Overwhelmed is the only word I can come up with. I am feeling isolated in my body right now, but I have never felt less alone in my entire life.
Physically, this is continuing to be a painful process. Everyone has been so helpful and my nurses have been great. I’m going to stay on the reduction schedule since there doesn’t seem to be a way to do this that will be any easier, but they are in process of changing me to some stronger pain meds that will hopefully ease this a little bit as we keep going.
Here’s what I can tell you, though… while my body is not enjoying this [that may be the understatement of the century, I realize], I am fine. I am not sad or scared or frustrated or any of those things… I’m simply resolved to do this, and I credit all of that to your prayers and support. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s true. I’ve never been so glad in my life that I threw my pride or whatever it is out the window and asked for you all to be here with me as I started this. I really can’t thank you enough.
Just know that while I’m hanging out between the rock and the hard place, I’m doing ok. Like all things, this rock is just a stepping stone. And I’m just taking it one step at a time.