The haze covers everything. Thick mist drowns out the sight of the buildings opposite my windows and it's another morning of living in the clouds. Schools are running late because the low hanging fluff is freezing on the roads and the visibility makes it impossible to move forward safely.
My vision, my visibility, limits me the same way some days. I look around and see only everyday sameness. I move less and less, I can stop feeling connected but I can't stop the pain that rages without ceasing. I look at walls that cage me in and windows and doors that will never be moved. Never opened or escaped.
It would be a sad and lonely world if we only saw with a misty vision. If we gave into the haze that can creep over a soul because our human eyes choose to look no further. That limited visibility would make moving forward impossible. Just like the persistent fog out my window.
Instead I look within and without and around. Because true light is everywhere. How do I know?
Because God made the fog. He made possible these walls and windows. He breathed life into my lungs and formed me when I was little more than a thought. He made the rain and the clouds and the wind and the cold. He made the conditions that create a fog all around us.
But He also made the sun that stands above all else. The sun that never left even when conditions made it impossible to see. He, above all else, can take a state of fog – a misty vision – and make it work for good.
"All God makes is good. Can it be that, that which seems to oppose the will of God actually is used of Him to accomplish the will of God? That which seems evil only seems so because of perspective, the way the eyes see the shadows. Above the clouds, light never stops shining."
~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts
I have time to ponder life every single day. And I wonder if I would really want different. Because my eyes, no matter how clear and focused on Christ, are cloudy compared to His. I can't see the beauty He creates beyond the clouds, within the clouds, around the clouds. I can't see how He takes something that looks dangerous and unnecessary and shines His light in and through to redeem it into beauty.
If I had the life I thought I wanted – the easier one without pain and with freedom – would my better view mean His was less? I think so. I think only God has the vision to see where true beauty lies. Because He has the vision above the fog. Above the clouds and the ice and the unsafe conditions.
He has the perspective. We have the life we are given by our circumstances. And if we trust Him, really trust Him, I believe He will always make sure there is beauty beyond our limited view of the mist. And I will always praise Him for that.