I have had people who thought I should go to Medjagory for healing. I believe miracles happen there. And I believe there are people who go with the purest of hearts and the most genuine intentions, who are not healed. I don’t think it’s about who puts their faith on the line better, I think it’s about fulfilling a mission. Some are healed because that miracle will spur some on to faith. Some are not healed because that suffering will help others in some way. I’m not big enough to know which should be true for me. I trust God to make that decision. I am open to either option and I believe if healing is meant for me, He will make that happen.
But in the interim, I’m not wasting a moment of what is by waiting for what could be. Well, I may waste a moment here or there… I am human after all and disappointment does not escape me just because I know better. But I’m leaving the choice with Him. Right now I have a lot of pain, I have a lot of limitations, and I can’t go outside without suffering the consequences. That’s my reality.
If He chooses to change that reality tomorrow I will embrace it without question, just as I am going to deal with what is in front of me right now without question. It’s ok if you think I’m wrong to approach it this way. It’s wonderful if you took a different approach and experienced healing. All I know is that I have talked about this with God at length, and this is what I find to be peaceful in my heart. It’s working for me, this decision to leave the choice with Him. It may not look like it’s working out all that well physically, but it’s working out well for my spirit.