Friday, April 15, 2011

5 minutes: on distance

Today I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo aka gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.

Only five minutes.

And the rule is that whatever she writes about in that five minutes is what she posts. No editing her thoughts.

Today, her topic choice is "On distance…"

So I'm going to set the timer, write some thoughts, and then I'm going to stop.

Ready? Set. Go.


Distance. It's such a relative term to me right now.

When I read what Lisa Jo's prompt was a few minutes ago, the first thing I did was look above my computer to a photo of the Shan Clan hanging on my wall and thought, "I hate distance."

Because I know I will only see them maybe twice a year since they live so far away. And my heart aches from missing them. Which is not a complaint… because missing someone means you have the privilege of loving them, and there's no way I'll complain about that. I'm just grateful they make such huge efforts for me.

And then I realized that there are people right here in town that I ache for, too. Friends who I love beyond reason who I only see maybe twice a year because I have to live in this bubble. Because they work around sick people or someone in their family has the sniffles at various times and it means I never get to let them in my house.

Sickness makes distance relative in my world.

And then I thought of my brother's family who, despite distance, used to stop by to see me every single time they took the trip home to Mom and Dad's. I only see them once or twice a year now, too... not because they don't want to stop by on their way home, but because illness means they have to keep driving. And I hear the pain in their voices because they ache for me like I ache for them.

Right outside my doorstep might as well be Tennessee. The distance is relative in this world I live in. One step is as insurmountable as 1000 miles.

And all of those thoughts, like everything these days, brings me to Dad. The distance is insurmountable. I've had so many people from his life tell me they feel him so close now that he's gone, but I have to be honest. He feels so incredibly far away to me. So out of reach. So missing.

But I know that distance is relative, too. And I pray that all this time we are away from each other is different for him. I hope, like the distance in mine, time is relative in his world so when we meet again it will only have felt like a moment to him.

Because, like everyone in my life, as far away as he is, I hold him so close.

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