Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Shoo, Birds . . .

You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.        ~ Chinese Proverb

Not only did the mental image of this proverb make me chuckle, it also made me crave Chinese food. Just thought you’d like to know that. :)

So, it appears I’ve got some birds of sorrow swarming around here, and I’m afraid they are taking up residence for awhile. But I promise I’m not going to let them build any permanent nests in my hair. I keep wanting to ignore the stupid birds so I can tell you that things are looking up… that I’m turning a corner… that things are going to be back to normal in no time.

But here’s the thing… that’s just not the direction this seems to be going. I’m learning to accept the fact that it looks like this is [at best] going to either stay the same, or [more likely] keep getting worse before it gets better. Not what I was hoping for, but it is what it is. I did another step-down of the steroids on Sunday, and now I know that my body is liking each reduction less than the one before, with the pain and other effects of the Cushing’s becoming more amplified. It’s really exhausting, and the nurse today said that is probably how it will continue with each passing week.

It’s hard for me to know what to tell you, other than to just let you know this is how it will be for the next couple months. None of it is pretty, and the further into this we get, the more I am acutely aware that this will be a marathon and not a sprint… one that will continue after the steroids are out of my system. I can’t say I like it, but I’m starting to wrap my brain around it.

What I don't want to be, however, is a Debbie Downer and spend all of my energy checking in with you all and saying, "Wow, it's worse again this week!" Because really, where’s the fun in that? I figure if I have to be immersed in this cycle of pain and medications 24/7 in my body, I should at least try to use my brain to escape it a little when I can. I promise I’ll keep being honest with you, and let you know if something big happens or changes, but for the next few months it’s safe to assume that I’m doing little else than managing my pain, taking meds and trying to get through what’s put in front of me.

So… when I do expend some energy here with all of you, I might make it about silly and frivolous things sometimes, simply for my own sanity. I don’t want to mislead you into thinking all is well on those days, but I’m trying so very hard to make sure those annoying birds don’t build a nest in my hair … which means that along with the real life and the contemplative, I’m going to try to choose the joy on here as much as I’m able.

Now, just because you can, go do something silly or joyful today. Even if it’s just to close your eyes and soak up the sun for a moment. Take a minute in the middle of your day and consciously CHOOSE JOY.

It’ll help keep the birds out of your hair.


  1. its time to shoot some birds.

    Recent blog:=- good pics/great subjects!

  2. I came across your blog like many I'm sure... just browsing. To say that you're story is inspirational would be grammatically incorrect but your outlook on life definitely is. I've never not paused at the thought that my useless complaining about my life is such a waste of time. Yet even as I type this I can think of few things to bitch about.
    I commend you and the honest, candid view of your life you have displayed to satisfy the voyeur in all of us.

  3. Sweet Sara,

    Too bad they're not flies, I could just swat and destroy them. Be silly away, dear one. I am praying for you.

    If you want a laugh that will probably hurt, picture me being dive bombed by barn swallows as I mowed the lawn. Then add to the joy, add the dog attached to me while mowing trying to deter the birds. I was pushing the mower, trying to pull the dog, all while the girls yelled "Watch out mama!!!" Not so joyful for me, but sure to bring some to you. It was hilarious.

    The joy in my life today? My girls. Five years ago today I went in to the hospital in labor to deliver Eliana Joy at 34 weeks; early on the 6th she joined our world and was wisked to the NICU. For two weeks I asked our God to make her extraordinary, not just ordinary. I am JOYFUL to report, five years later, my sweet babe is beyond extraordinary. No delays, no illnesses, ahead in everything and on each milestone. He answered my prayer, bringing me much joy. Joy I hold more dear than anything else...

    Why do I tell you this? I am praying This exact prayer for you, Sara Frankl, five years later. He has a plan. I am trusting Him to work it.

    Love, me

    Recent undefined:=- Oh no! Comluv had an error with your feed, see message below!

  4. Dearest Sara! You inspire me to be a more positive person and to appreciate my blessings... I love you, my sister... my friend!

    Recent undefined:=- Oh no! Comluv had an error with your feed, see message below!

  5. Loved your blog title today. Loved your analogy. Great writing, as usual.

    Daily praying for you, Sara.

  6. Hey! Not sure what to say or how to say it, but I just wanted to comment. :) I'm a lurker, and I've been reading for a bit. I was diagnosed with MS in Feb 08, and I can understand a lot of the things I read here. Our diseases aren't the same, but chronic illness is what it is.

    Your outlook is refreshing, inspiring, and touching. It's hard when you can't do what you used to do. It's good to know you're as positive as possible.

    I haven't posted a lot lately (we just moved) but feel free to check out my blog. :)

    Recent undefined:=- Oh no! Comluv had an error with your feed, see message below!

  7. I think you should be able to see my blog by clicking on my name, but if not, its


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  8. I've been checking in here and noticed the lack of updates- was going to leave a message no matter what today but am glad to see you were at least up to updating.
    I've been saying prayers for you and hoping you are all right... I'm guessing all right might cover it but I will hope and pray for better than that.
    Love to you in His grace and peace.

  9. Thank you for that. I've been feeling down lately and you're right, choosing job and to not feel sorry for yourself is something we have the ability to do even when our circumstances are trying. Praying for your health.

    Recent :=-

  10. Sara, I have to tell you, this is a really powerful post! There is an acuity that is coming through. It looks like you've spent a great deal of time on this and I marvel at how you do it! The Chinese proverb is great! So good to "hear" your voice :) Keep swatting away those pesky birds! Will keep you in my prayers.

  11. You amaze me. I am looking forward to silliness with you, dear Gitzengirl. I'm glad to read and chat it up with you about whatever little ol' thing you want to write about. I am always praying for you, sweetheart.

    Recent blog:=- Hair of the Dog

  12. Sara, get a cat...I'm tired of the birds....I think about you daily and pray for your healing. =-X

    Recent blog:=- Blue Monday : Finished Baby Quilt Top

  13. Lynne Richards DaackAugust 4, 2009 at 9:50 PM

    "We all know people who have been made much meaner and more irritable and more intolerable to live with by suffering: it is not right to say that all suffering perfects. It only perfects one type of person ...... the one who accepts the call of God in Christ Jesus." --Oswald Chambers
    Even though I don't know you IRL, I just love you as my sister in Christ! I thank God for the reminder that you give me to choose joy, no matter my circumstances. Praying for you, for peace and healing!

  14. YOU amaze me. honestly, i am sitting here shaking my head at your positive outlook. oh i know that you don't sit around with a smile on your face praising Jesus for your circumstances!!

    because we are able to we should "choose joy". i just love that.

    have to tell you that when i read the chinese proverb my first thought was "oh, they have not seen this mess of hair on my head - birds would have a field day in there".

    love you, my friend!!

    Recent blog:=- It's A WHAT????

  15. Can't really think of anything that I've done that was silly, but I am choosing joy in the form of commuting to work on my bike as often as I can now. It occurred to me that here I am completely able to make good use of my legs and lungs, and that I was being wasteful by continuing to let the bike hang in the garage. Talk about taking things for granted.....it put me to shame......

    .....so now I ride my bike and experience the joy rather than not riding it and suffering the shame.

    The birds haven't yet landed on my head, but I did have some sort of big bug get trapped between my head and helmet. That's not quite as bad, is it?


    I love you, dear-heart!!

  16. Choosing joy. You inspire me!

    Recent blog:=- the party that never ends

  17. I really needed to hear that chinese proverb, so much so that i may do an art jounal page with it.:)
    thank you!! you inspire me and i hope it helps to know you have fellow bloggers who are happy to hear from you

  18. Princess Cat's PajamasAugust 5, 2009 at 3:26 AM

    I sooooo needed to hear this today... I just found out this morning that I have incurable kidney cancer. (At age 25! I'm 10 years younger than the youngest patient the hospital has had with this cancer...) I'll chase the birds away from your hair if you chase them away from mine. :)

    Recent blog:=- Pli interfessaire

  19. Dumb birds.

    Still thinking and praying, as always.

  20. We'll be here praying and laughing with you through the sillies and the pain.

    Recent blog:=- Gotcha

  21. I hate those darn birds. Can we just shoot them? I am with Tam. :)

    Recent blog:=- Be (in)couraged

  22. Choosing joy and praying for your healing to manifest quickly and painlessly. Love you!

    Recent blog:=- Gratitude ...

  23. Sounds like pigeons to me. Or big ugly crows. Bummer. Here's hoping you at least get some pretty song birds circling soon! :) Woooo metaphors.

    Thinking of you always! =-X

  24. So very true and so very much what I needed to read today. You are a joy to so many of us.

  25. Cynthia Quinn SchieldAugust 5, 2009 at 6:43 PM

    Hey friend - so good to hear from you - even if it's not the best of news. Praying for your continued recovery from the mean, evil Cushings :) Joy is a choice - as is bravery - both characteristics you embody one-hundred fold. Take care a you!
    ~Cynthia in MT

  26. Robin~All Things Heart and HomeAugust 5, 2009 at 7:23 PM

    Checking in...praying. In this for the long haul. I want you to be what you want on any given day. If you need to laugh a little go ahead. I won't stop praying...love you

    Recent blog:=- Pain…

  27. My whole life is doing things silly and joyful. Yesterday involved some very silly dancing :)

    Praying for you as you shoot those birds!

  28. I don't know how you push through (well, I know what you're drawing on), but I mean how you keep inspiring us. Thanks for the effort it takes to do this and keep us in your life and in the loop. Prayers continuing, Sara.

    Recent blog:=- Don't Be Scared......

  29. Still staying with you and praying.
    Maybe you could give us a song ever now and then.
    And maybe a Riley update also?

  30. Sara, your honesty is so good for me. Your spirit is constantly an amazement! I count it an honor to pray for you.

  31. Girl...I MISS YOU!!! I miss not hearing your voice. I am praying for you a lot and think of you often!! I love you! Jen