Friday, January 16, 2009

Flashback Friday: Going Batty

Hey there, blog peeps!

So, Flashback Friday this week is inspired from the post I did yesterday about the creative and thoughtful cards my cool classroom of kids provided. Ok, they aren't "my" classroom of kids since I'm neither their teacher nor their parent, but since I'm their class project I figure they get to be my kids.

Right? Right.

Anyway, the Thanksgiving card Jonathan put inside the big pink cards he and Ben made had me staring, reading, blinking and laughing.myself.into.hysterics.


That card looks innocent enough, right? Cute house, probably filled with people ready to celebrate Thanksgiving together... nothing funny there. But then we look a little closer...


I realized it wasn't just any old house; it was the house his mom and I lived in with two other friends when we were in college together. That photo of a girl locked in her bedroom on the main floor? He's designated her as Sara (me). And those things up there in the attic? He's labeled those as BATS.

If I ever doubted that child was listening at any given time, I've laid those doubts aside... because he not only listens... he knows every freaking detail.

I've mentioned this in a post before, but the last few years of college I lived with three (sometimes four) other girls in what we termed "The Big House." It didn't resemble a prison or have any sort of law enforcement implications... we were just phenomenally uncreative and called it The Big House because, quite frankly, it was a really big house.

And it was a fun house... except for one little detail: it had bats.

I don't do bats.

And I was in good company, because my roommate Amy didn't deal well with bats either. My bedroom was on the main floor of the house because I was already having trouble with stairs and was sometimes walking with a cane, and my three friends (Wente, Susie and Amy) each had a bedroom upstairs. Amy also had her own phone line because, as you can imagine, there was a lot of demand for phone time in a house of girls.

(Amy, Susie, Wente & Me celebrating Wente's engagement in 2006... Wente doesn't normally wear a crown for everyday occasions.)

That arrangement proved useful anytime those little rodents with wings would make an appearance, because as someone would yell, "Bat!" I would flee to my room, shut the door and stuff a towel under the crack, and Amy would do the same in her room. She'd call me on the phone and we'd give each other play-by-plays while Susie and Wente (and whoever else they could persuade into helping them) chased the bat through the house, swearing at the two of us for being both useless and chicken.

Quite frankly, I was totally ok with that.

Especially as I sit here with the knowledge that I made it through years of living in that house and never once so much as saw a bat. That, in and of itself, takes skill. Of course, there were some pretty hilarious moments because of it, too. Like when I was trying to make my way upstairs one night (which was no small task) and I had gotten about 3/4 of the way up when Wente yelled, "Bat!" and I tried to flee down the steps. No one could even chase after the thing because they were on the ground laughing at the sound of me and my cane trying to make it down the stairs while spouting a couple of profanities.


Apparently the distinct sounds of stairs, me and a cane are enough to put my friends into hysterics. I'm pretty sure whatever I was screaming in the moment didn't help matters, either.

The worst bat story, in my humble opinion, had to do with my friend Amy. What you need to know about this girl is that she is a sweetheart. She is so kind and caring and you wouldn't think she'd ever hurt a fly. But what most people don't know about her is that she LIES LIKE A DOG.

That's right. She'll randomly tell you a flat-out, not a shred of truth in it, bold-face lie just to see if she can get you to fall for it. And she's really, really good at it. And I'm really, really gullible.

So when I came home from work one night and she told me there had been a bat in the house earlier that no one caught and they didn't know where it was, I totally believed her. And I walked around the house for the next two days with one eye constantly peeled for the black little devil that might swoop at my head...

Until we were all in the kitchen one morning at breakfast and I asked if there were any more sightings of the bat. Amy casually looked up from her cereal, shrugged her shoulders and said, "Oh, there never was a bat. I was just kidding. Did I forget to tell you that?"

And they thought they had heard profanity that night I step-thumped my way down the stairs...

Ahh, memories. I'm so glad Jonboy drew me that photo and reminded me of those good old times, because it brought to my attention the fact that I never did pay Amy back for all of her antics back then.

Hey, Amy... keep your eyes open, girl... you never know what I may have up my sleeves...



  1. OH my GOSH Sara you made me laugh so hard my rib cage hurts. The thought of you step-curse-thumping down those stairs is almost too much to take.

    One of my dearest friends growing up was hilariously funny and terribly afraid of horses. She would have been useless with bats and fine with it, just like you. I can totally see the two of you getting along.

    This is one of my favorite posts ever! Way to go Jonathan! That was an outstanding picture you drew, man.

  2. I love to hear college stories! Wait, I should amend that statement. I love to hear college stories that do not involve alcohol or being so drunk...

    Thanks for the laugh during yet another night when I can't go to sleep!

  3. This post was my best Friday funny today.

  4. He drew you in the bedroom and bats in the attic!!! Too cute!
    I giggled at the picture in my head of you tearing off down the stairs trying to escape a tiny bat. Don't get me wrong, I'd do the very same thing. Cursing and all!

  5. As soon as I saw the title of today's entry I had flashbacks!! I had forgotten how you and Amy would talk to each other on the phone while those of us on the Bat Crew would handle the almost makes me feel not so bad about "taking care" of one of the bats in your bedroom :-)

    Love you Sara!

    Oh, just so you know, I have now taken to wearing tiaras for everyday occasions.

  6. Another little vignette revealing another facet of your wonderful personality, Sara. Loved the card and the story.

  7. geesh! Your college living stories are WAAAAY better than mine!

    and p.s- you are so pretty Sara!

  8. I love a good bat story!!! When Bill and I were first dating he came over to my house to hang out. Much to our surpise a bat was keeping watch and swooped all around us in my basement. I was soooooo freaked out that I took off running to get my Mom leaving Bill with the bat. Mom came flying downstairs with a tennis racket and showed Bill a great serve and aced that bat right out!!! Bill thought this was so awesome (he is a tennis player!) and thought my Mom was so cool!!! I guess our family left a good impression on him....and also made him well aware that I would not be the one taking care of any rodents in our home!!!!

  9. I'm not sure what this means for me, but I SO get Jonathon! The details don't escape him. And your ability to see the humor in his attempts to cheer you is doubly funny.

    And the rest of the story... well thats just bonus! So for the complete visual, it should read "step, thump, #@$%! Is that what you are saying?

    This is just wickedly delightful!

  10. never cease to make me laugh. :)

    BTW....ANOTHER pic. of you in just a few days. Wow. I'd say you're coming out of hiding

  11. Hey, guys... glad you got a laugh out of it! We had a LOT of laughs at the big house.

    @WENTE!!!!!! Totally forgot about that bat in my room! :) How funny. And glad you're finally embracing the tiara... it really does suit you...

    @leslie: that is a riot about Bill and your mom! I'm trying to picture my mom going after a bat with a racket...

    @vicky: the @&!*#$& part was the funniest part, but it's probably too much to tell here. needless to say, i kind of have a mouth on me :)

    @rachel: funny... I actually have old photos of me in a few places around here (the one today has actually been posted before)... I had no idea it would be such a big deal when I posted a new one this week! My face blows up and then slims down depending on the steroids I'm on, so I just haven't enjoyed (that's an understatement) being in photos the last few years. I just couldn't get used to seeing a photo of myself and not have it look like "me" but since I'll always be on and off steroids it will probably always be that way.

  12. Ha ha ha ha!!
    Loved this post.
    I am exactly the same way when it comes to mice and rats and am absolutely terrified of both. To the point that if I see one anywhere in a building I am destined to sleep in, my parents for instance live way the heck out in the country and its likely that any given day in the late fall/ early winter they have at least one in the basement or attic... but yes, I will check myself into a hotel or find a friend's couch to stay on rather than be anywhere near those creatures.
    Also, am terribly gullible and one of the girls I work with can often spout out some bizarre comment and I, being the gullible type, will accept her words as truth.
    She hasn't tried any rodent lie, but she knows the fear...
    Which means I am in for it at any time :)

  13. Hysterical post! I am terrified of bats as well. There was one in my mom's screened-in porch this summer, and Ron Burgundy caught it with a fish net because he didn't want to hurt it. There were 4 of us "girls" (including my 83 year old mom) screaming at the top of our lungs. And he had a ball. Philosophy of catch and release, I guess. Fish? Maybe. Bats? Not so much. Ugh.

  14. Oh man - this one really had me laughing! I have a little something for you at "my place". Come on over and get it, if you want it!
    Love You Sara!!!

  15. i'm also "useless and chicken" when it comes to bats. they used to invade our apartment when we were first married. and invariably i'd end up cowering on the floor as far away from it as i could possibly get in our 2x4 flat.

  16. EXACTLY as I remember it!!!!!!!!! I laughed so hard reading this - I LOVE those memories... but I don't remember being one of the brave ones - I recall sitting upstairs in my room wishing I had a phone in my room too! Once when we spotted a bat, I not only ran into my room, but also shut myself in my closet - hello!?! Bats were probably going to be in there too! Girls - do you remember the time that my brother Steve came for the weekend and had one swoop at his head while he was watching TV in the dark - we had all went to bed and he came upstairs to wake me - then we were ALL awake in a matter of seconds and had quite an eventful night! I think that was the time that Sara, Amy and I watched from outside through the picture window as Steve and Wente 'gracefully' skitted through the living room swatting at the bat with brooms and blankets - watching from outside it was hilarious - well, we thought so anyway - I'm not so sure they were amused! My favorite blog so far Sara - you can write so well - it was like reliving the Big House days!!!!

  17. Thanks for making me laugh while the poor baby is sitting here tantruming all over the floor for my attention!!! She will live, though!!!
    Too funny....seen any bats lately???

    Pamela in TX

  18. Great memories! I can identify with the "step-thump".. I loved this story..
    I got notified I get one of PW's Compassion kids today, too!! YEA!

  19. I wanted to post on Friday but couldn't. This post brought back memories for me. I'm glad I'm not the only one who freaks out at the sight of them and would rather not be in the vicinity of them. Thank you for the laugh.

  20. I love your dog! And I saw a mob of bats flying just a throw away yesterday at work. Even though they are a very creative looking creature I wouldn't say look anything like your dog and I LOVE dogs like the one you seem to have there!! :o)

  21. Hilarious post Sara - adore that drawing!

  22. Sara, I must admit that I'm more than a little embarassed that I played such a mean little trick on you. I'm hanging my head in shame. I'll also admit that it was quite funny! I've tried to change my ways because I don't want my girls learning my skills of telling little white (innocent!) fibs. We had some good times in The Big House, didn't we? I clearly remember telling Wente' before we moved into that house that if I were to EVER see a bat in that place, I would be moving out immediately. And then the very first night of living there, I was by myself in the living room watching T.V. when I saw something flying around the room. I hightailed it out onto the front porch until Wente' got home from work. She must have wondered what in the hell I was doing hanging out on the porch by myself. I stayed out there while she took care of that very first bat. I remember another time of watching from the porch as she and Tom chased a bat around the living room. Maybe that was Wente' and Steve instead? I suppose it could have happened both ways since we had so many bats in that house. The worst incident for me was the afternooon when I was sitting on my bed, looked down and saw a bat limply crawling across my bedroom floor. I freaked out. The bat made it the hallway where I trapped it by placing 2 wastebaskets and about 10 books on top of it. I think Mark took care of that one for us. Gross. Bats or no bats, we had great times at that house. Thanks for the trip down memory lane :-). I really miss you girls!! Amy

  23. Amy is still a bold faced liar. Dont believe anything she tries to sell you girls. Changing her ways my ass! I can hardly believe she expects you all to believe that line of BS.

    Her on alert at all times husband Matt

  24. Don't listen to that husband of mine! He just tells himself I'm lying because he doesn't want to hear the truth. His snoring like a freight train is one of things he insists I lie about. I have two daughters to back me up on that one, though. Maaaaybe I pull his leg here and there just to have a little fun, but I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be! What can I say? Old habits die hard. Amy

  25. @amy: I was WONDERING when you were going to show up and defend your lies :) I totally remember you having to deal with the rabid bat... I remember thinking you were lying because there was no way you'd have the courage to trap it, but then Wente told me it really happened. :) I miss those days and I miss you SO MUCH!!!

    @matt: I know, I know... it's hard living with a compulsive liar, but I hear they have 12 step programs for that kind of thing these days. Just know you have all of our support if you need to do an intervention...