You all had to read that title twice, didn't you? Admit it. I know you did a double take. But no, I wasn't swearing.
I was pulling that Dog Whisperer sound on myself.
So, I told you yesterday about my new obsession with that show... but as I was watching and listening to his philosophy on dog psychology (stop laughing... there is such a thing as dog psychology) I realized that what he was doing with his dog is what I've been doing mentally to myself for a long time.
Stick with me. I swear I'll start making sense.
Some of you have emailed and asked me how I got to this point of accepting where I am, and it's been hard for me to figure out how to answer that question. It's a process; everyone is different in how they process things in their lives. But one thing I have always believed is that once you know better, you can't pretend to be ignorant anymore. I've told you all before that I've had my moments of exhaustion when I've wondered when it was going to be my turn to have the nervous breakdown I so deserve... but the breakdown never comes because I just can't pretend not to know better.
I can't pretend that God isn't going to take care of me. I can't pretend that I'm not going to have what I need when I need it. I can't pretend like I'm alone in all of this. I simply know better.
And that's when the mental "shhht" comes into play.
When the Dog Whisperer is trying to redirect a dog's focus, he makes his 'shhht' noise and gives them a tap on their chest or their back leg to snap them out of the moment. Once a dog is focused, he is blind to everything else but the object of his attention. The sound and the tap knock the dog's brain back into a normal state where the Dog Whisperer can then redirect.
As soon as the negative thoughts start coming into play for me... the whole, "I don't think I can do this for another day without losing my sanity and grip on reality" thing... my brain gives me a mental 'shhht' and it's replaced with, "You don't have to do this for another day; God's doing this for you... you just have to keep showing up."
My friend Heidi recently asked me if I ever write a post, make it positive and think to myself, "What a load of crap... this just sucks and there's nothing positive about it."
While the question made me laugh, the answer is no.
There is no doubt that there are days I feel like this:
And while, in the beginning, I would have to consciously stop myself and remind myself of the good things, remind myself that God knows what He's doing... it eventually became an automatic 'shhht' response in my head. The thought comes, the 'shhht' happens and my thought changes. I don't know if that works for everyone. I don't know if that makes sense to you, but it's how it works for me. I made a choice at some point to remind myself of the good instead of the bad, and it eventually became an automatic response.
And now, after writing this, I'm seriously thinking of making t-shirts that say "Shhht Happens." Anyone want to buy one? :)