Friday, February 25, 2011

5 minutes: 5 years ago

I'm trying an experiment today. I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo aka gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.

Only five minutes.

And the rule is that whatever she writes about in that five minutes is what she posts. No editing her thoughts. Today, her topic choice is "five years ago."

So I'm going to set the timer, write some thoughts, and then I'm going to stop.

And then I'm going to tell you who won the canvas. :)

Ready? Set. Go.


Five years ago I was 32 years old and life was getting harder, but I honestly had no idea how good I had it. I was in a lot of pain and able to get out less, but the fact is I was still able to get out. I had a rheumatologist that was still hopeful and I was still able to see friends as often as I liked.

I had already dated a guy I could have imagined forever with, and already realized there would never be a guy I'd spend forever with… because even if it never got any worse, no one was going to choose this life as their own.

That's what a serious illness does to a girl. It gradually makes her see very clearly what won't happen in her life while making what will happen very unclear.

{Which now makes me feel like I'm giving you my "limited visibility" post from two days ago all over again.} :)

Here's the deal: five years ago I had no idea that I would never walk outside my door again. I had no idea that pain could get this much higher. I had no idea what Cushing's was or that I'd EVER succumb to a walker named George. Heck, at that point I had no idea that I even needed an adjustable bed. And I never thought in a million years that I would be living any of it without my dad.

But you know what I do know now that I didn't know five years ago? I know that there is nothing in the world that I can't keep living through.


I have no idea what five years from now will look like. I could have all the people I love with me, or I could be without someone. It could look like today or it could look like today from a wheelchair or with an oxygen tank. I don't like to think it will look like that, but it could.

And if it does, I'll still be surviving it. Because nothing happens that God doesn't see first. And He loves me. And He won't ever leave me alone.

Listen to me when I say this: He won't leave you alone either. So no matter where you were five years ago or will be five years from now, you will be ok.

Trust that.

I do.


WHEW. My five minutes are up. I have no idea where that came from and had no idea where it was going… what a wild experiment.

Now, who wants to know who won the canvas??!?!?!?!?

The winner, according to is:

Jill Sires: I love you...I love this canvas...I love this verse...I love Etsy, so all around I adore this post! I will pray for Heather and Emily--and you, my beautiful friend, will always be in my prayers! :)

Congratulations! Send me an email at with your mailing address and I'll get it shipped out to you!

:: FYI ::
from what I can tell, the three canvases for sale at Heather's were already listed and already gone ... thanks to those who went and purchased! I promise I'll let you know as soon as I'm making them again. :)
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