Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Blog Peep Questions: Round 19

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What does your daily faith walk look like? How do you connect with God?

Honestly, this is one way I feel fortunate for the life I have. {I know… this is going to sound crazy that there are benefits to being bed bound, but it's true.} Because the truth is that my life is set up in a way that I don't have a lot of distractions between me and God.

I don't have a hurried existence. I don't have a job and husband and children and errands or just plain old life to distract me. And in a lot of ways, that really stinks. I would like to have those things filling my world. But in this way, in this I-have-no-one-around-me-but-Jesus way, it has allowed me to have a connection with God I don't know that I could otherwise have.

I open my eyes in the middle of the night, and my first thought is to talk to Him. About my thoughts, about people, about situations. I do nothing all day but lay in bed, often times in the quiet depending on how I'm feeling, alone with my thoughts. And those thoughts are a direct conversation between me and God. It has become as natural to me to connect with Him as it is for me to blink my eyes.

And I would never want that to change.

A friend of mine and I were recently talking about someone we know who not only has stopped believing in God, but preaches pretty vehemently against Him. And as angry as some of the things he says makes me, I told her that I am mostly sad for how lonely he must be without God. How empty the quiet space must be.

Because my life, my moment to moment existence, would be incredibly lonely without my constant companion. So, that's what my prayer life looks like. I read books about faith, I'm currently reading through Acts in the bible, I pray the rosary and I pray written prayers and I do all sorts of things to broaden my faith and knowledge.

But mostly, I just talk to Him, thank Him, acknowledge Him and rest in Him. Every moment.

How does Jesus talk to you?

I'm not one who will say, "Jesus told me…" simply because I would hate to presume I heard right and then turn out to be wrong. :)

I don't hear an audible voice of God. I have thoughts that pop into my head and I immediately speak back to Him in my heart and I know that somehow He sparked that conversation. I have moments where I am wrestling with decisions and I will settle on something and have a complete peace about it, and I take that as His way of helping me know it's the right choice.

Sometimes I don't feel anything at all and that is frustrating as all get out, and I let Him know that I'll be patient because I fully acknowledge that maybe it's not the right time for me to hear, to feel peace, to make the decision. In the end, even not hearing from Him is a way for me to let Him know I trust Him more than I want an answer.

The way I hear from Him most often comes through conversation with others, however. And not necessarily what they say to me. This happened just recently when I was emailing with a friend about a decision I was making medically and wanting to be sure I was making the right choices. She started asking me hard and direct questions and I answered them so easily. Words flew onto the page before I even thought them through and I remember thinking, "Oh, that is true. That is right. Ok. Decision made."

Sometimes it's in that process of working through topics with other people that He puts words into our own mouths to answer the questions. At least that's how it works for me.

How did you come to know the Lord? Where have your spiritual influences come from?

I am one of those really lucky people that doesn't have a grand coming-to-know-the-Lord story. I'm one who doesn't remember the first time I heard about Jesus. I just always knew Him as the friend and the savior and the Father that He is. He was always a part of my family's life.

We always talked about our faith growing up. We always went to Mass and said the rosary and prayed before meals and bed and upon waking. Mom would walk into our rooms in the morning singing, "Rise and shine and give God your glory glory." We sang our ABC's and Jesus Loves Me as though both were important to learn. I went to Catholic school and found it completely natural for a teacher to say, "Well, have you prayed about that?"

I was in college before I met another human being that didn't believe in God. I spent a week every fall vacationing at a convent with a few hundred nuns, my godmother was a Presentation Sister, I had priests and nuns babysit me and we often had Mass said at our house.

I am one of the fortunate ones who had a great religious experience growing up. I am one of the fortunate ones who was surrounded by faith and people who had real relationships with Jesus. I can't really think of any part of my upbringing that didn't have a spiritual influence on me, and for that I am so very grateful.

If you have any questions for me… deep or silly… just leave them in the comment section and I'll answer them in another post. :)

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