Scooby Doo, Where Are You?

Are you all sitting down?

Seriously. If you're reading this on your phone or something, stop immediately and sit down. Because this one is a doozy.

Back around Christmastime, I had gotten a little plaque for my classroom of kids to hang in their room at school. Just a little something from me to them, to thank them for their letters. Because Tyler is in this class, I put the plaque in a little gift bag and sent it with his mom, Susie, so Ty could deliver it to school.

Simple enough, right?

Flash forward a few days when Tyler nonchalantly says to Suz, "Hey, Mom. What's up with the Scooby Doo?"

She has no idea what he's talking about as he continues, "You know, what's up with Sara and the swim trunks?"

She asks him what in the world he's talking about, to which he replies, "I just don't understand why Sara gave us Scooby Doo swim trunks. No one at school got it."

She looked at him like he was nuts, when suddenly the light bulb went off in her head. And the panic set into her heart. She raced into the other room to discover that there, in the corner, was my bag. Plaque still in tact. Which means in it's place she had handed over what she referred to as "an identical bag" of Scooby Doo boxers that had just recently been given to her husband as a gag gift.

As it turns out, my friend Deb {the teacher} primed the entire classroom full of children to get excited over a gift I had given them. And in a great flourish of excitement, she pulled out and held up in front of the class of first and second graders a pair of MEN'S SCOOBY DOO BOXERS.

One of the little girls asked if they were swim trunks, to which Deb replied, "Yes. Yes, they are…" then shoved them back in the bag and tried to go on with class.

Susie told me she called Deb immediately and Deb was so relieved to hear it was a mix up. Because she couldn't understand what the boxers were about either.

To which I immediately asked, "Why in the world didn't someone think this was a mix up in the first place? Did no one immediately think that I knew better than to send men's boxers to a room full of children?"

And this is where Susie really started laughing. She said Deb knew I was in a lot of pain these days and on heavy medication, so she didn't want me to feel bad if I had done something odd!

Which was only made funnier by the fact that the week prior I had sent Susie an email saying "I left you a check to pay for the Norwex {cleaning rags}" and the iPad autocorrected it to "I left you a check to pay for the horses" without me realizing it.

Rather than call to ask me, she called her husband and expressed her concern about me and my pain level!!!

Oh. My. Word.

So, this is my official public declaration that I am in a lot of pain. And I do take a lot of narcotics. But please let your first instinct be that I have kept my sanity. :)

Thankfully these kids thought the mix up of "swim trunks" was as funny as I did, so Deb sent a photo of the plaque with the two bags that Susie claimed looked "exactly alike."

Notice one is black and the other is brown. I think we should all be a little concerned about Susie's pain level, friends…

:)

5 minutes: backwards

Today I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo aka gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.

Only five minutes.

And the rule is that whatever she writes about in that five minutes is what she posts. No editing her thoughts.

Today, her topic choice is "Backwards…"

So I'm going to set the timer, write some thoughts, and then I'm going to stop.

Ready? Set. Go.

::

When my nephew Alex was a little boy, he was instantly athletic. He could throw a ball before he understood what it was. He never just dribbled, he dribbled and juked. His dad, my brother Jim, used to hold both of Alex's tiny feet in one hand and walk around with him like that. Alex would stand in his hand, straight as a pin. He was just born agile.

And then there was Anna. She was a year younger and could speak in sentences before she could walk in a straight line. She was a thinker. She was eloquent. And she was oh-so-proud when she was able to show us that she had a trick, too.

She stood up straight, held her arms out to steady herself like she was mastering a tightrope, and she walked backwards.

Oh, we ooohed and ahhhed and clapped and cheered. While Anna ended up being an incredible athlete herself, it's funny to remember it all started with taking a few steps back.

I feel like I've had the opposite story of Anna. She started slow and worked her way up… and I started fast and worked my way slow.

My 20th high school reunion is coming up this summer, and the girl who never missed a chance to participate is now the girl who can't go home. I was the girl who couldn't wait to tackle life, and now I'm the girl without the husband and kids and career and life that everyone brags about at these things.

Because my life went completely backwards.

But life isn't meant to be lived looking backwards in the rearview mirror, missing what was. Or lived looking forward on the sometimes scary what-could-be road ahead. Because the truth is that none of us can really control either one.

In the end, we just have to trust that He has His eyes on the big picture, and make sure that the life we're living in the here-and-now is filled with moments that matter.

It's Not About Me.

In last Friday's post, I wrote a sentence about the externals in life not affecting the internal. How the things that happen to me are just that – external influences. They don't define who I am on the inside.

Since that post I've had a number of people email, asking me to write about what I view as an external vs. the internal. They want to know what defines me vs. what happens to me. I've mulled that over the last few days and I've come to the only conclusion that works for my life.

Everything is an external, except for Him. The internal is Him, working through me. The rest is just what He has to work with.

That's not to say that the externals don't affect my emotions. My dad's death rocked me to my core. This disease has changed every other external in my life and I have a lot of feelings about that. The external impacts us – we'd be cold and unfeeling if it didn't. The externals of other people's situations should impact us, too, so we can be empathetic and reach out to help as Jesus has instructed us to do.

The externals matter, because they spur us to action.

But that internal existence, the thing that dictates our emotional and outward reactions to all the externals, should be guided by one thing only: Him. Our trust in Him. Our belief in Him. Our guidance from Him. Our instruction that He has provided by His word.

As I thought about it I kept going back in my mind to a post I had written a few years ago when I talked about my own life not being about me, but about what He needs from me. So I'm going to repost that below… I think it will help explain what I mean by life's externals just being a way He can use us for His good.

Because like everything else in life, I think it comes down to trusting Him more than we trust ourselves.

:::   :::   :::   :::   :::   :::   :::   :::   :::

It's Not About Me
{originally posted January 13, 2009}

It's not about me.

That's what has been popping into my head a lot lately when people ask me questions about how I deal with being sick, why I don't get more frustrated, why I don't complain more or why I'm not angry about my situation.

We all want life to be fair. We want goodness to prevail and hard work to mean that life will be easier and ... that green grass on the other side of the fence that belongs to the people who don't appreciate it? We'd like that to be transplanted into the lawn of the person who spends all day feeding and watering the sparse looking grass in hopes of a fruitful harvest.

But all of that is "me" thinking... and it's not about me.

The plain and simple truth, if we take big lessons in life and strip them down to the bare essentials, is that we are tiny blips on a very big screen. Only God has the capacity to see all of it. He saw all that came before us and sees all that will come after us, and only He can know the role that each of us can play that will best serve Him and each other.

So, my life isn't ideal by our standards. By my standards, it's getting less ideal by the year. That whole living in pain thing? I could do without it. The getting sick thing? Gets old really fast. The never leaving the house thing? I could think of some fun places to go. I miss fresh air. I miss singing at church. I miss dancing until I'm out of breath and riding in a boat so fast if you close your eyes you think you're flying.

But it's not about me. It's about what He can do with my life. I have learned a lot about myself, my faith, my perspective. But that doesn't mean I was given this illness to teach me something. For all I know, God saw this illness was going to be in my body and helped nurture me so I could use it to affect someone else. And as much as I would like this disease to be gone when I wake up in the morning, if it serves a purpose for another person to see their life or relationship with God in a new light, then I wouldn't ask for it to be taken from me.

Because it's not about me. Nothing about my life is about me... it's about who He needs me to be.

And how can I complain about that?

Oh, complaining can come so easily for all of us... your small house, your flat tire, the promotion that should have been yours and the grass that grows so fast you don't have the time to mow it...

But what if the small house is so you are next to a neighbor who needs your help when her husband dies? Or your tire went flat when you were driving so it didn't happen when your teenage son was driving and he wouldn't have known what to do? Maybe the promotion would have been a dead end for you and next year a better opportunity will be waiting. And that lawn? Maybe it's the only exercise you do each week and is saving you from a heart attack.

The point is, you don't know. I don't know. But it's not about me. It's about how He can use my life... so as far as I'm concerned, even those things that make me want to pull my hair out and scream "Why me?!?" are blessings in disguise. Blessings for me, or for someone else, or for a reason I can't even imagine.

But it doesn't really matter. Because it's not about me.

Gitz Bits: Week 22

I laughed when I downloaded the photos for Gitz Bits off of my camera this week. My nurse was here earlier today, looking at the chipmunks out my window, and I told her it was like the Garden of Eden without the naked people around here.

So, you'll notice this week that I've had fun with my new view, so we'll officially call this Gitz Bits the Week of the Animals…

Monday, May 30, 2011

I had the bird feeders up for a couple of days, and lo and behold I had three goldfinches hanging out on Monday. I've only had one goldfinch sighting since then, so I'm wondering if I need to get more of their food in the feeders or something. I loved looking out and seeing a splash of color.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Even more entertaining than the birds are the chipmunks who have come to feed off of all the leftovers they drop out of the bird feeders.

Riley gets so overly excited that he can't even bark. He just hyperventilates as he tries to claw his way through the windows.

And the chipmunk {this one's name is Simon} just stands there and stares at him. I know in his head that Simon is thinking, "Sucker…"

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

This is Simon's little friend, Theodore. He's obviously the chunkier one of the two. Simon was here by himself for a few days before he spilled the secrets of free food to his friend.

They pretty much live in my hosta now and run around and play when they feel like it. They have been thoroughly entertaining… except when they jump in my flower pot when they are chasing each other. But I figure it's a small price to pay for my own personal Wild Kingdom show.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

I'm enjoying the side show, but Riley still knows who the favorite is. Which is obvious as he's tucked under the covers with his head on a pillow.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Ok. This is when Wild Kingdom went too far. I looked out the window on Friday and about had a heart attack as this Mama raccoon walked across the parking lot like she owned the place. These three little babies were following behind like little ducklings follow their Mama.

BIZARRE.

The Mama circled back when she realized the fourth one was missing, so the parade went by a little later with all of them in tow. I didn't take a picture the second time, however, because right after this one was shot and the flash went off, the raccoon stopped, stared right at me and gave me a look.

Trust me, I will not mess with her again.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

On Saturday we received a box of Riley's meds from 1-800-petmeds.com. If you have a pet that needs meds, I so recommend them – you will save a fortune!

And Riley recommends them because they always send along a big old bone for him, and it's about five time bigger than the treats I usually give him. Which explains why he sits and stares at it like this for a good five minutes, whispering sweet nothings into its ear, before he devours it.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

And finally, here are Simon and Theodore, together. I'm thinking they chewed on a weed or something that had caffeine in it because they were chasing each other around like they were on speed this day.

I could get used to this whole Wild Kingdom in the Garden of Eden thing. :)

Thanks for once again sharing my week with me! Click on the button below if you want to go to Jessica’s site and check out the other participants showing off their weekly photos as well:

Say Cheese!

Get ready, people. This is as close to a food blog as I'll ever get.

::

Long before I started this blog, Dawn was cleaning my condo for me every other week. She cleaned a friend of mine's house, and agreed to come and do mine when I couldn't do it for myself anymore and my Ill and Handicap Waiver made it possible for me to hire her.

But all this time I haven't been able to introduce her to you because, like me, she is totally camera shy. But this week I actually talked her into a photo… so I'm posting it before she has a chance to change her mind. :)

Everyone, meet Dawn!

The Tuesday after my birthday she showed up with the most fun present for me. She works at Hy-Vee when she's not cleaning, and I had asked her awhile ago if her store carried Daiya vegan cheese. I had tried other fake cheeses before that were too disgusting for words, but Ellen DeGeneres SWEARS by this Daiya product. And if Ellen says so, I believe it. :)

Not only did she find me Daiya cheese, she found all the ingredients to make a pizza without anything I'm allergic to in it. And then made it for me.

Did you all read that???

I CAN HAVE PIZZA!!!!

Now that's a birthday present that keeps on giving. Like, every day. Because that's how often I've been eating it.

This is the "cheese." Apparently it's made out of tapioca, and somehow they make it taste more like cheese than cheese does. I love the section on the packaging that says "It melts and stretches!" But if you ever try other vegan cheeses, you'll understand that this is the happiest part of the product because it means you can really pretend it's cheese. :)

I've had the mozzarella and cheddar and they are amazing. And people, I'm super picky. It's expensive, but since it's the only thing I eat now I pretty much removed everything else from my grocery list. My diet now consists of heating up some pizza every day for lunch and having this "cheese" melted over Tostitos for supper.

My life is seriously complete.

Dawn rolling out the dairy-free pizza crust.

Sprinkling cheese over the sauce and meat.

And this? This is pizza. Heaven. Happiness in my mouth. And the only thing currently in my diet.

Everyone say it with me now… MMMMMmmmmmmm.

5 minutes: every day

Today I'm linking up to Lisa-Jo aka gypsy mama, who chooses a topic every Friday and writes for five minutes.

Only five minutes.

And the rule is that whatever she writes about in that five minutes is what she posts. No editing her thoughts.

Today, her topic choice is "Every day…"

So I'm going to set the timer, write some thoughts, and then I'm going to stop.

Ready? Set. Go.

::

Every day I awake to a sameness and the unexpected all at the same time.

I wake with the same intentions, the same goals, the same disease, the same feeling of wondering how I fill another day in the same position with the same issues.

And every day I face the unexpected. The changes in the intensity of pain and the areas of pain and the unknown side effects of pain. Every day I face the consistent schedule of taking my medications, but the unexpected schedule of what fills the in between moments.

The moments where I find out if goals can be met. The moments I may be able to type and return emails or I may not be able to do more than lay in one position and fight to rest while being too restless to sleep.

But all of those are externals. They are just what happens to me.

They are not me.

Because every day is also beautifully chosen.

In the midst of the aching sameness and the achingly unexpected of the external, is the beautifully constant of the internal. The things I choose.

The joy.

The bliss of a new room. The happy of a view that now includes birds and chipmunks and even pesky raccoons.

The joy of technology and friends at my fingertips, and the overflowing email inbox that I can't keep up with but can't live without the newness of every day hellos.

And every day I choose the one consistent internal ability that I know will never be taken from me.

The one that feels like my purpose.

The ability to love people by praying for them. Like clockwork I go through my people, I pray for them, I ache for them, I grieve with them, I rejoice with them. I faithfully pray for all of you here. Did you know that? I do.

And I praise Him through all of it.

Every day, in the sameness of good and bad, He is with me. I am never alone. I'm luckier than most because I trust that knowledge with every fiber of my being. Every day I get to be His and He always shows up.

He shows up in the joy and in the pain, in the fun and in the nausea. He shows up. Just for me. Which means every day is a good day. A joyful day. Because I choose Him.

Every single day.

And you can, too.

Extreme Home Makeover: Aunt Sara Edition

I had more activity around this place on Saturday than I usually have in a year. Maybe two. :) And it was wonderful!

First of all, Katie, my best friend from high school, called and said her husband was going to the lake for the weekend. And she talked him into taking their kids along, too. {Thanks, Dave!} Which means she was free as a bird to come and hang out with me. It had been way too many years since I had a dose of Katie so I was thrilled to get to see her.

It worked out well because some of my family got to see her again, too. Mom told me awhile back that she had an extra pub table and chairs that would be cute in my dining room, so I had gotten rid of my table to make room for it. We had decided that my brother Steve and sister Laura would meet here when they were home this weekend to make the delivery.

The first great surprise was that Mom was able to come, too!

{Katie and Mom}

Laura and her husband Jeff, along with my brother Steve and his kids, Cooper and Avery, all came in with lots of hugs and love. And then they scurried me off to my old room so they could open doors and carry in the tables.

At least I thought it was just tables. Cooper had declared this the Extreme Home Makeover: Aunt Sara Edition and said they'd take care of everything.

I thought it was cute. I had NO IDEA he was serious.

{my sister Laura, nephew Cooper and brother Steve}

Avery and Katie came back to hang out with me in the other room, and Avery and I decided we couldn't wait to get back to snuggling in the new comfy bed.

{Avery… she decided she may need a bed like mine…}

And, of course, Riley wanted to make sure he got in a picture, too. The hardest part was keeping his nose out of all the other ones. :)

So after being in the back room and hearing lots of hushed tones and things being hung on the walls, I finally got the green light to come out and see the big reveal.

And I'm not going to lie… I was so shocked that some expletives, which shouldn't be said in front of children, may have exploded from my lips!

Everyone say it with me now… "Move That Bus!"

The TV corner before…

And the TV corner AFTER:

The couch view before…

And the couch view AFTER:

Yep! It magically turned into entirely different furniture! Thanks to my sister Laura getting a new living room set, I got the prettiest hand-me-downs I've ever seen.

It so pays to be the youngest. :)

The kitchen before…

And the kitchen AFTER:

Is it just me, or does it look like I have an adorable little café right in the next room? I'm pretending it's on a quaint little Paris street.

The bed before…

And the bed AFTER:

Full room view then…

AND NOW!

You guys! Seriously. I couldn't wait to show you. I have never felt so decadent or even dreamed of anything so beautiful. They keep saying they are the ones that had fun that day, but there is no way anyone's heart could be bursting more than mine.

By the end, Avery was exhausted…

And I can't stop smiling. :)