Thursday, April 2, 2009

Adrift in Chaos?

Oh, people, even if you were lying to me about being duped… it was so much fun thinking I finally had an April Fool’s prank work!!!!!

And it was even more fun when picked the number of a commenter who has shown up here every day since practically the beginning of this blog…

MISS ROBIN!!!!  And it's no surprise that you "got" me. As we established when I fell for Vicky's joke, that NO ONE else fell for, I believe ANYTHING!!!! You little Dickens, but at least I can say that I someone got me with an April Fools joke!!!  Organizing...yep that's my girl, I love the closets they look perfect! Your work space just screams "I'm CREATIVE"!  Love this canvas! My eyes about bugged out of my it!

Congratulations, Robin! I’ll get your canvas in the mail! Now… onto today’s blog post…

***** ***** *****

Either we are adrift in chaos or we are individuals, created, loved, upheld and placed purposefully, exactly where we are. Can you believe that? Can you trust God for that?  
                                                                    ~ Elisabeth Elliot

I love a good quote that hits squarely between the eyes, don’t you?

I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about what it means to really have a servant’s heart. It could mean being accessible to others in a variety of ways… volunteering at a food pantry, giving your time to mentor a child, simply being available to friends in need or dropping a card in the mail to someone who needs a bright spot in their day.

It could mean going to your job and finding ways to make sure the work you do benefits others, or being the stay-at-home mom who does the little things to make sure her family feels loved and secure and special.

But that quote up there, the one that talks about believing we are placed purposefully, that is what defines having a servant’s heart for me. Why? Because it makes my life not about me. The only part of that statement I have any control over is my choice to trust that I am not adrift in chaos… that being exactly where I am, with all of my abilities and lack thereof, is exactly where I’m supposed to be. That puts me in a place to fulfill His mission, not mine.

It’s taken me years to understand that. When I was perfectly healthy I was always striving to be of purpose. I was always looking for ways to do better, to be better, to find the mission I was supposed to fulfill. But as years passed, and abilities I once thought made me who I was gradually began to disappear one by one, I started to realize that all the searching in the world couldn’t provide as much insight as simply standing still and embracing the purpose of the moment.

The more abilities that were taken from me, the more I realized they were just externals. Singing was a joy, but it wasn’t who I was. The right job or the right apartment didn’t create lasting happiness. It was what I did at that job, what I gave to the people who heard me sing, what comfort I provided to those who entered my home… those were the things that best served.

Now I find that the less I have, the less I need. The less I am able to do, the more I am able to see what is right in front of me. Instead of trying to succeed at things I think are important or searching to discover a purpose, I’m working at being still… at having a servant’s heart and trusting that I am an individual, created, loved, upheld and placed purposefully, exactly where I am.

While my life feels crazy sometimes [trust me, it does] it no longer feels like chaos. That doesn’t make my physical reality any easier, or less painful, but it does bring contentment and a joyful heart. Those I wouldn’t trade for all the success in the world.

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